I'm not referring to adult sexual interactions. I'm talking nasty habits people have, when they don't care who they hurt, as long as they get theirs.
I have learned to hate. People taught me, by the things they do, the way they rob a man when he's too sick to know, when they almost kill him in their greed.
My American Dad (not my father, Nikolaus)became deathly ill in September 2007. He had begun apparently to have problems as early as January of that year; he didn't want to tell us, so behaved as though he was still, at the age of 72, holding down a high paying job. To cover up, he began to withdraw massive amounts of money from his IRA. His so-called financial advisers just kept handing it over; no question why a man purportedly bringing in nearly $100,000.-- would need $80,000.-- in cash. When they demanded to come to the nursing home (apparently I was lieing to them invoking my Power of Attorney and Executorship of his Estate). They got the papers signed by a man who had no clue who they were or why they were there brinign him cake (he's diabetic). They released $10,000.--, ignoring my "make sure you take out enough to cover the taxes" part of what my position demanded.
My Dad got out of that place for a week; he had a "change in mental status"...caused not by him being insane, but his heart rate from having been overdosed on insulin in the nursing home plus being given a drug for a psychiatric condition he did not have plus 22 other medicines landed him in the hospital with a heart rate of 32 beats per minute. God bless the docotrs for figuring it out. He didn't want to stay in hospital, so we got yet another home health aide. Dad was home for a week and needed to be back in the hospital. I couldn't even get this lazy cow to take his vitals. "I took that at lunch yesterday" she tells me. And of course demands to get paid, be chauffered to her specialty food place expecting me to pay for it. And she stays. for 8 weeks, lollygagging around the house, demanding $900.-- a week for her presence. I couldn't get my Dad's son to send her off, he was afraid there might not be anyone there if he came home. He came home, within a week, back in the hospital again. The woman was let go. Someone else came in but was so nervous (she was from Newark NJ) she jumped out of her skin at every sound whe heard and wanted us to board up the windows because she was afraid someone might come in. I let her go and I stepped in. I recruited my friend Li and my Dad made wonder progress. Enter Carolyn.
Not only did she make Li quit-my best friend, not speaking to me since then (I had planned on firing Carolyn imminently), now I was stuck with her. Being disabled, I can't do it all. She took my $500.-- a month budget and by forcing everyone else to leave, convinced my Dad and his son that she should be paid that per week to do part time work and demand grocery money on top. She took the money, bought food for her family and brought my Dad the left overs. He was in and out of the hospital constantly after her lies and thievery and refusal to leave had me fleeing the situation. I have a strong connection to my Dad-I could feel it when something was wrong. I showed up to check on him to find hime in severe distress on several occasions requiring immediate emergency care from paramedics to stabilize him for transport. Still they fought me on the Carolyn issue.
Another instance, after a fall which Carolyn diagnosed as a broken femur, he had actually sustained a severe head injury and another stroke, brought on by her no doubt. The hospital played the shell game, she had no access to him. Only they and I knew where he was. Even her claiming to be my sister in law didn't get over on them. I had let the doctor know what was going on-not that he wasn't suspicious with the multiple hospitalizations, but apparently in NJ, unlike the legal mandate that Medical Personnel must contact law enforcement if abuse is suspected involving minors, they have no such avenue. But I do. And I did. My Dad not in his right mind, he told them he didn't need any help. Of course not. He failed to mention who was doing what and when. He was released from hospital for the stroke and head injuries and I brought him home. He phoned me that night to say he was alright.
I was shopping the next day, and tired, so based on his call the night before, almost didn't stop to check on him. I found him in bed with a 102 fever having severe seizures and another stroke. Off to the hospital again. He'd had a reaction to his medicine which Little Miss "I'm a Medical Professional" Carolyn failed to see. That was just her major lie to keep her job and continue to pilfer prized meaningful objects from the home and demand to get paid. My Dad pulled through that too.
Then came my deceased brother's birthday. I went to see my Dad at his house and had the worst feeling of my life- I knew the smell. The smell said he was dieing. But he was on his feet. It made no sense, so I didn't leave. It took three hours before he finally gave in to the trust he used to have for me pre-Carolyn. He not only had a friction wound on his ankle and heels becasue Carolyn had bought cheap, rough sheets which abraded him down to the bone, but she had not seen to his personal hygiene and the failure to change his "pull-ups"(adult incontinence underwear instead of diapers)had left him in a state which had caused necrotic tissue to accumulate across 70% of his derriere. I'm not sure if my head, my heart, or my stomach were the most sick at that moment. I began to clean him up. Debriding the tissue over the next week was a slow process; it was painful for him and I did not want to cause him any pain. Of course, the other wounds were dressed and the doctor was called. He told me to carry on, I was doing a good job. Until my Dad's son and Carolyn decided when he was supposed to fire her that they were going to tell my Dad that if I kept taking care of him they were going to cut off his feet. Joking with my Dad about "Are they also going to cut off your butt? I think not." didn't make much difference. The man was terrified. And then the hireling decides because the doctor abided by the privacy laws that she was in charge and called in a doctor who had no clue about my Dad's condition. He prescribed a drug to which he had a severe allergic reaction. Again I found him with a serious fever. I contacted my allies and verified. We stopped the drugs but unknown to me at that moment, Carolyn had decided the thing to do to counteract Bactrim fever was to give him an additional antibiotic.
We made it to the Wound Care Center at St, Peter's Medical Center in New Brunswick and my Dad was barely able to move. He couldn't walk; I got a wheelchair. We thought between the fever and the terror of thinking I was taking him to get his feet cut off it was enough to bring that on. He did not want to go to the Emergency Room. I put him to bed with strict instructions not to get out of bed til I came back. I had found all the contraband medication and confiscated it. Carolyn arrived back at his house before I did. She was livid and demanded he get out of bed. He fell. She forced him to try to walk to the kitchen table for breakfast. From the condition of his knees in the hospital, I don't knoe how many times he fell. She finally called an ambulance. Nobody called me. I arrived to an empty house, calling police and rescue squads and his doctor. Police called back to say there had been a call earlier for ambulance. His doctor told me where to find him. On my way, I dropped in at the local P.D. to be met with an attitude because I had been there the week before requesting a restraining order to keep Carolyn from interfering with my Dad's medical care. I met the attitude of that particular officer with the same. I started having an asthma attack on the way to see my Dad. I talked myself through it.
The nurses were happy I had gotten there. My Dad was refusing medicine, refusing food, refusing to talk to anyone. They gowned and gloved me. Dad was semi-conscious. I put my head on his chest and started crying. He started to come around. I got a lot of tubs of Jello as well as medicine into him. After 5 hours, I went home. The scenario repeated for 3 days, adding Graham Crackers in with the Jello. On the fourth day, he didn't want them. He wanted a sandwich. It was a slow go, but he was back.
The following day I got a hysterical phone call from one of the physicians at the hospital. "WHAT HAPPENED TO(my Dad)?!?!" I had to ask him when did he mean, and gave him the most recent applicable history. Why, I asked. He had gone unresponsive, I was told. Was Carolyn there? Someone was, I was told. Response was, "That could do it." My Dad was O.K. now though, I was told. I wrote a detailed Social Woprker's report and left it for the doctors at the hospital with who to contact at Adult Protective Services. Apparently, they did their job. Carolyn appeared no more, not then. My Dad was moved to the nursing home. I got a call from his local police, could I come and speak to Detective J.? Of course. I went with every note I'd written and the photo documents I took of my Dad's condition and daily progress from the time I found him in the condition which resulted in this. Carolyn had gone to the Police and pretended she was concerned for my Dad's feet. The detective didn't need me to show him anything and I didn't have to tell him much. He had already been to see my Dad at the nursing home where I had made sure Carolyn was barred. My Dad had had told the det. the truth. As well the detective and I simultaneously said that my Dad cannot be left alone.
I found a great Home Health Aide. It took us three days post-nursing home to get my Dad's body temeperature up to near normal. The nursing home had him sleeping on a "Medicare approved" air mattress meant to prevent bed sores. Only a thin sheet below and a thin sheet on top. Air mattresses do not get warm. And again he was on improper medication, an Alzheimer's drug when he doesn't have Alzheimer's. Aricept. That went first. The Plavix went next. Omega 3-6-9 was doing just fine and had reversed most of the stroke damage from before these episodes. He was not able to get around. We had to call an invalid transport service to take him for medical appointments. He could not get from his wheelchair to his bed or up from the bed by his own self. He's big; we changed and washed him by helping him roll onto his side. Finally, a month later, he was able to get up and about. He still didn't know what day it was, we spent last Thanksgiving eating sandwiches. I'd given our HHA the time off to see her family. He was making steady improvement; by Christmas we had him out shopping having a great time escaping from us in the electric cart at the Loew's Hardware. And in the snow. Then there came a problem-the State refused to renew her Certification unless she works for an agency. It was putting her through agpny. She was distressed and arguing with me although I had written everyone and every agency about how distorted that rule is. It wasn't even supposed to apply to her because she had been certified to a prior date which exempted her from that "agency" rule. But some government clerks are not worth their weight in pay. I hope they're the ones who'll be gone come year's end.
And right then, the IRS decides it wants money,so first freezes the JOINT account I hold with my Dad and then actually go in and steal the money based on their incompetence and flimsy excuses and lies. I had filed his return. I had filed six Powers of Attorney with them. Nobody there knew anything. Not even when they heard from my Congressman with full proof of everything. Only after they stole the money did they acknowledge him and the fact that they were now "in receipt of the Power of Attorney". I had filed six altogether since my Dad became ill. I guess they got mad because I found errors on two previous returns and they had to in one instance settle for less, in another issue a refund, and in another do nothing at all. They simply were mad that I had the proof and the facts and they didn't want to hear it again.
So we began the year $2,000.--down due to the "DropDeadGap" in the Medicine Coverage(which my Congressman was instrumental in changing once Congress got it that when people don't get their meds, the hospitals cost way more much more often.Plus the $1600.-- the IRS stole on top of that, plus the additional HHA costs, plus another $1,000.-- a month in bandages, dressings, ambulatory, incontinence and wound care products Medicare doesn't pay for (and that's wholesale); New Jersey's Blindfolded Bull in a China Shop decides he's going to keep the Homestead rebates as a credit toward next year's real estate taxes instead of giving them back to the people who need them now and another round of Drop dead gap; after allowing the aquandering of $80,000.--by my Dad, $30,000.--on unneeded Carolyn, the "Financial Advisers" stonewall me from October 2009 to June 2010. The promise was a certain amount with differential to offset taxes and additional to offset dealy, I get an e-mail that "we" decided not to sen the $3,600,--check, "we" were going to hold it. And the hit the Prinzess in me.
I e-mailed them very diplomatically and got a bunch of gobblydy-gook. 3 times. And more of the same belligerence. And then I pulled the legal cards. I told them they do not have Power of Attorney over my Dad's affairs, I wanted an explanation as to why they were keeping a stock which has been only losing over the last three years as a "hedge against inflation" in the account of a man who didn't have enough money to pay his bills and had to rely on my credit several times because of their remiss. I guess they didn't want to answer that in any sense of honesty. I get an e-mail of "we tried". Ja. (They didn't say and screwed up miserably.) They allowed an account which stood at $200,000.-- three years ago to go down to only $30,000.-- while my Dad's debts equal $44,000.-- and mounting. Now they tell me "Well, you have full Power of Attorney over your Father's account at Schwab(which "Father? _____ or Nikolaus?)So now I'm going to be dealing with "The Shwab Alliance Team". I couldn't be happier and I can't wait to meet with them. At least the investments won't be restricted to the minute circle which was theirs. They were dropping people anyway because all they wanted to do was play with gold anyway. I asked them when we got that letter two years ago if that meant I would have to find someone else ot handle my Dad's things. A simple yes could have saved a lot of heartache. So, Schwab people...I'm looking forward to it and don't forget--my heart, my soul, my mind, and I are 150% GERMAN.
So, I am thankful for something. The freedom to put the investments where they can actually start to gain something. And that my Newphews, Dad's son and wife and HHA had a really nice dinner with him and nobody was going to leave God's grace out of it. That was who my nephew thanked before anybody else. And our current HHA and me for preparing the food. So it was good.
I don't participate in acts of mass insanity, so be safe if you're shopping this weekend. No thing is worth it.
Prinzess Pegi Hohenzoller
