If anyone was from looking at me expecting a simple person, they learned within three months that I am something quite different. There's a reason why I think I'm a Pisces, but my mind is Gemini-quick and as multi-faceted. It's rare that one topic doesn't trigger a cavalcade of thoughts, all related, but so fast the perceiver has no clue how I got from A to Z without seemingly going first to B. I went to B. Just not out loud.
Per example, I was discussing with my American Dad's Home Health Aide the Memorial Observance and the Poinsettia tradition where we would take my Dad to pay respects to his wife, deceased in 2001 from complications of herself and osteoporosis. Logistics having been established, I said to her "And you need to call Dr. **** in the morning. She stared at me incredulous. So I said "You're wondering how I got from poinsettias to Dr.****. She said she was. I explained. The mausoleum is on Rt.xyz. We got a card in the mail the other day that Dr. **** just opened and office near there and you need to see a doctor. "It does make sense" is what she said. I told her it always makes sense in my head, just not to the people who don't know what's going on in it."That explains some things" she said. Good, that's the way I think. Trust it first, ask questions later. She said "I know". Important when I have to give her medical instructions in the space of a heartbeat possibly. I can't be arguing about how I got to the conclusion at that moment. With my Dad's condition, there was a time where a heartbeat was about all he had bewteen critically ill and dead. I'll knock someone on their butt and do it myself before I argue about matters that important.
My typing at times belies it, but at PPPL my friend Brian used to look at me and say "picky, picky, picky." What else would you like me to be when I'm working 200 feet from the largest nuclear fusion test reactor in the state? No room for floating decimals or incomplete information. If it carried my signature or initials or was perceived as being in my realm of responsibility, it was perfect. Including the layout on the page. My letters and documents were read. My way drew the attention. Which merited a lot of engineers later on some raises. Now, not so much. I've never been a typist, and I never really liked it, but it is the way of the world these days. Some few people I will take time for to write it out longhand because my printers have not functioned in over a year. One, the Dell AIO, is great for photocopies and faxing, but it never printed for me. My Hewlett-Packard worked just fine til Dell found out I had it. Then it stopped. They decided it was "incompatible" with this sytem. It wasnt til they got wind of it. I have more to think about than Deell/Microsoft's little desires to retain their empire. Which is fading fast. They still tell me every day I didn't sign in under the password they have. That's right. They asked me last month why my password to evry site was different than the one I'd initially given them. I told them it was my very own security system (omitting the "which you have no right to access anyway"). I have no patience for those people. I don't care how they want it; it's my tool and I want it to do what I need it to do, not what they want in increased revenues. So I blocked a lot of their things, just like they blocked my freedom to choose my printer. I find their system's rendering of colors highly inaccurate and I can't do a thing about it. I told them the next time I have a problem, this is going in the garbage right after I buy a Hewlett-Packard. I don't have time or patiencew for non-sense "updates"hich present a new computer system on a daily basis. It's abusurdity to the nano-degree.
Their mess has caused a mess in my own normally highly disciplined life. My paperwork was never scattered. My pets were never put second to an object. It leaves me no choice. I've wanted to heave it off the balcony many a time. But first I need to transfer everything to someplace else.
Normal me enters every transaction in the bank registers immediately on returning home. After diggin for paperwork from 3 years ago for Dell Tech Support, I'm lucky I can find my checkbook. No, I won't trust it on-line. My Dad was a computer professional from the time computers were invented. His financials are in a seperate computer with no connection to the net. Were, anyway, till someone physically present tried to snoop in and crashed the whole system. I've been doing it longhand now for over three years. But up til then, the HP never failed. The Quicken program made it all so simple. Currently, I can't even locate half the bills because of the time I've had to waste. It's just not my gig, this computer thing. I'm a highly logical organized person who has used a number of different manufacturer's computers. Nothing like this mess ever happend with them. I'm also first and formost an artist. Except for writing and fast buying as well as occasional real communication, I don't have much use for the thing. Especially not if I can't get my artwork to print out color true. I have my Dad's medical problems to deal with, in addittion to financials for two households and my own medical things. Business as usual for Dell is life disrupted for me. Including business. They're the worst offender when it comes to "popping up". Always exactly when you don't want them to. And I.E. is rapidly becoming the slowest and most unreliable way to cross the net. What a mess. Capitalism allows it. By allowing it, they disallow me. Lately it's getting harder and harder because of the damage to my spine and having to fix a mess someone else made of my things does not contribute to attempts to avoid things which cause spinal distress. Computer problems contribute greatly to the pain I've been in for the past four weeks.
Despite my best efforts, more and more stuff shows up in my mailbox, both virtual and real. Virtual I can ignore; real I cannot. I have to sort thru a mess before I can find the bills. I will not pay on line. Especially not since the Dell guy's questions were more about what financial information I have on my computer and what he was trying to sell than actually making the thing work for me. I finally almost got it up to full function last Friday. He left it in selective boot mode. I went thru all my programs trying to make it work like it did before he messed it up after they messed it up with thei so-called "security". And I had to delete a new spyware I downlaoded becasue Microsoft decided it was going to take up my entire Google toolbar with their icons and such. There's still one on my desktop, but it will soon be gone.
If anyone still doesn't get that they can't rely on their computers for accuracy from one day to the next, this mess of a world will be a bigger mess. My reality is tangible and physical. Cyberspace is something like floating in free fall orbit. You don't always know where you are, but you do know you need to land. It's out there. I'm in here. And my life will continue to be lived here, not out there.
Once the rest of the mess gets policed, I expect I'll be blogging on a more regular basis. My head is full of ideas and topics. Like looking at a gemstone-the light is coming back at you but changing and converging and originating/culminating somewhere. There's a beginning and an end to everything on this Earth with the possible exception of the messes people make.
Ciao!
Pegi
