After eleven years stateside, I was finally back home in Germany. Not a trip I initially wanted to make, I had other plans here, but it was an emergency call to the bedside of my Omi Halki. There was no way I wasn't going.
I'd flown back to Jersey from Iowa, no sleep, bus to NYC to Embassy, U.S. State Department, actually; wrong destination, to get my passport. There was a delay. I didn't have any of my German documents, only the phony U.S. ones my abductress had engineered for me. So I got a green passport, back to Jersey. Could not sleep on the floor at the home I'd left two years before. Next day, off to the airport. I couldn't sleep in transit. Not with the sunrise popping up in the sky, the brightest and most sudden night to day I'd ever seen or would again.
We arrived in Munchen, got a train to Kirchheim, a limo to my hometown. On my Omi's kitchen floor, too exhauseted for anything more, I put my head on my suitcase and fell immediately asleep. I'd never been able to just fall asleep in years. It seemed everytime I did, I woke up in another country or place. Sleeping "in transit" just wasn't safe.
All the much desired friends and family were contacted; my Omi in the hospital visited. She was always insisting we shouldn't be hanging around in the hospital, we should go out and have some fun. Onkel Horst was due "home" on the weekend and joyously awaited. He came early, and life started up. They had evry sort of plan for us. Except one. It was altogether unexpected.
With Onkel Horst, we visited the town of my Aunt, where there was nightlife; at the Gasthof and down the hill where there was a little Cantina with a spring fed swimming pond. I was in my element. Since I learned how to swim, keeping me out of swimmable water was an impossibility. Onkel Horst had been given "ferien" for our time there. My Dad was to come the final week of our stay; he had to work, now with more bills to pay.
After a day of me in and out of the water, it was time to dress and go back for festivities at the little Cantina. I found out what the "Stammtisch" was; for some reason I was welcome to use it. No one else was sitting there, so I didn't stay long at that table. I wasn't used to drinking; the good German beer stated wonderfully unsweet and satisfying. We were busily uncrossing the language barrier; my amnesia had taken, along with my memory of everyone and everything, my native language. I didn't know then how upset people were with the condition of me on my return to them. As we were discussing words, someone came in the door. I wasn't looking for anyone, I had left a boyfriend in the States, and really didn't know the extent of the fuss my return had made. I lifted my head up to laugh and across the room, He stood, looking all like Eastwood only a nose better. The bang of my glass as it went back to the table from halfway to my mouth stopped all conversation and everyone saw what happened.
What happened was love at the first instance. There, at home, everyone knew it, everyone understood it, everyone supports it. Even my Uncle's warning, "Watch out for that guy. He's not a good thing." was followed immediately by an "Uh-oh. Too late."
Roland came over to the table and excused his presence, saying he hadn't meant to cause anything, he was just there because that's where he goes. The fact that he had even come that far had me giddy and light-headed. I tried to stand up and immediately sat down again. I excused myself by virtue of the beer. How much had I had, he asked. My answer "Half a glass." caused further amusement. For the next two weeks, Roland and I stayed close, but distant, but there comes a day when nature prevails and the magnetism was no longer preventable. We had held out nearly three weeks, when it was close to time for me to return to the states, there was a "Spahnferkele" celebration. It was that night after some ranting and raving from my stepdad; Roland and I agreeing the man was off his rocker or too drunk to be sane, we were in each other's arms and kissing; both a little shy, both a little embarrassed. We both had another person looking for us to give them our lifetime.
I spent five happy months basking in love and being loved. I've tried to find that here; I've given all sorts of relationships and non-relationships chances. Nothing happens. They go nowhere, they dead-end. If once in your life you've found pure love, nothing less will keep the heart at ease. But so it is with me. Not that the door to my mind and heart were not open. What walked in fell short of being true; too often contrived, too often convenience and economics related. I find I cannot long abide in the actress in me, to pretend to happiness and committment when my soul isn't in it is too phony for me to live it.
I don't at this moment know if Roland is alive or dead. But I know our love never had the chance to fail, to tire or to wane. It's a feeling I remember well when I hear Josh Grogan "Hallelujah". I can feel the song go through and through me and that is the closest since way back when I have felt to what Roland and I had. No doubt. No question. No heeded criticism or warnings. This love lives on perfect like the chord progressions of that song; seemingly endless but yet not continued. I've given up hoping I'll ever find true love again because there are no bearers of it, but I know without question what it is and it isn't. As much as I have compromised my life, in essence as much as it was against my will sacrificed, I know at least my feelings are honest.
Pegi
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Too Absurd for Words
I received in my e-mail a legal mandate wherein Google had to notify all users of gmail that there had been brought a "class action suit" against them for providing a service, free of charge, voluntary, to gmail users, called "Buzz".
I chose not to use it when it was first offered; I revisited to discern why. The site allows the choice of keeping your "whatever" private or publish it to the world. I should have gone with it and "publish to the world", but I didn't. So why do I have to reply to a lawsuit which has nothing to do with me, which I would not have joined were I asked, and which will serve only to make this one particular "garden variety" group of lawyers who bring multiple class-action suits rich? I wouldn't.
I am stunned with the backlog of real cases that any judge who did his homework wouldn't have laughed this thing out of court. Even more stunned that Google decided to use the ointment instead of swat the fly. But some things, when you have enough money, simply aren't worth your time and aggravation to address. I suppose this falls into that category. Like keeping a product you don't want because to ship it back would cost half of it's value anyway.
As to these lawyers, I'm familiar with their work from multiple stock failure lawsuits they brought. They didn't even bother to sort out who had what but sent a list of things which would have taken 3 days to read and God only knows how long to figure out which step-parent at what time held what stock thru which broker. And of course they all fell outside the seven year period wherein brokers are required to keep this information. One set of brokers tried to help, the other set was "It was Kenny's account"....o.k., so I got $127.++ back for my Dad. Whatever stocks my deceased step-mom held, well, I guess that was forfeit and the attorneys walked away with multiple millions of dollars.
So I ask you, is this justice? Or should I ask "Who does justice really serve?"
Apparently it serves anyone with an ax to grind and the strength to use it. Those of us who have truly been damaged can't get into the court room, struggle to exist, and are worn down to nothing until we lack the strength to fight. Do the lawyers care? I haven't found one. They all want the big bucks cases; they don't care about merit of the case. They're too lazy to get the facts, you have to because they won't. They're not Perry Mason, or any other TV lawyer who cared. Just like the real life cops don't have the equipment the tv cops have. Pity it is that. Maybe I just expect too much. Like somebody taking finerprints after someone drilled out my dead-lock to get int my apartment. The cops did care, in fact were quite upset over what happened to me. Upset enough to get people out of bed at 12:30 AM, especially given that the idiot stole my asthma medicine and that needed to be made public. They could have overloaded their hearts if they took a lot of it. We left that at the possibility that someone might present in the emergency room with bronchial spasms and cardiac issues. Overdose of asthma meds will do that even to asthmatics. People do dumb things. So I made a list of what was missing, a couple of antihistamines and anti-seizure meds I kept for in case I had an emergency so I could function and not die on the way to get help. The idiots who stole the meds were ignorant. The people who brought this frivolous suit against Google aren't. They're culprits. Or else they can't read and shouldn't be using the computer anyway. The very first thing you see when you click on "Buzz" is a choice which says "Keep it Private" OR "Publish to the World."
I wrote the lawyers and told them I am opting out as this had nothing to do with me. How dare they demand I take my time, my supplies, my money, to answer them who have no right to know which email I use as I had not contacted them on anything. I think it was a ploy to get private information. And I bet if Google investigated, they'd find a bit of collusion and ulteriors besides for getting rich.
I told the lawyers also that if they really wanted to go after people who invade or breech privacy, there are a lot of non-profits out there who think nothing of disseminating your personal information to whom they choose. And there are those people who sell their mailing or customer lists. Can they get more stupid? My money stops going to my chosen charity the moment I am contacted by another of it's same affiliation. It's dumb. Why would you want to decrease the donation you get by sharing it among everyone else? This is not a democracy here, it's a capitalistic megalopoly and if you don't guard your assets, people's donation or purchse info being that, you will lose it. I promise it.
I hope these lawyers get a well earned lesson and walk away empty handed for making evryone else do their work for them. Oh yes, some do pride themselves on their laziness.
In the meanwhile, check you gmail. You have to opt out or else live with whatever those lawyers have in store for you. And if Google chooses to file a malicious prosecution suit in the aftermath, I'll testify on their behalf. This kind a garbage needs to be corralled sometime. And I'm speaking as a former associate ACLU member (my dues lapsed-my ethics haven't.)
I chose not to use it when it was first offered; I revisited to discern why. The site allows the choice of keeping your "whatever" private or publish it to the world. I should have gone with it and "publish to the world", but I didn't. So why do I have to reply to a lawsuit which has nothing to do with me, which I would not have joined were I asked, and which will serve only to make this one particular "garden variety" group of lawyers who bring multiple class-action suits rich? I wouldn't.
I am stunned with the backlog of real cases that any judge who did his homework wouldn't have laughed this thing out of court. Even more stunned that Google decided to use the ointment instead of swat the fly. But some things, when you have enough money, simply aren't worth your time and aggravation to address. I suppose this falls into that category. Like keeping a product you don't want because to ship it back would cost half of it's value anyway.
As to these lawyers, I'm familiar with their work from multiple stock failure lawsuits they brought. They didn't even bother to sort out who had what but sent a list of things which would have taken 3 days to read and God only knows how long to figure out which step-parent at what time held what stock thru which broker. And of course they all fell outside the seven year period wherein brokers are required to keep this information. One set of brokers tried to help, the other set was "It was Kenny's account"....o.k., so I got $127.++ back for my Dad. Whatever stocks my deceased step-mom held, well, I guess that was forfeit and the attorneys walked away with multiple millions of dollars.
So I ask you, is this justice? Or should I ask "Who does justice really serve?"
Apparently it serves anyone with an ax to grind and the strength to use it. Those of us who have truly been damaged can't get into the court room, struggle to exist, and are worn down to nothing until we lack the strength to fight. Do the lawyers care? I haven't found one. They all want the big bucks cases; they don't care about merit of the case. They're too lazy to get the facts, you have to because they won't. They're not Perry Mason, or any other TV lawyer who cared. Just like the real life cops don't have the equipment the tv cops have. Pity it is that. Maybe I just expect too much. Like somebody taking finerprints after someone drilled out my dead-lock to get int my apartment. The cops did care, in fact were quite upset over what happened to me. Upset enough to get people out of bed at 12:30 AM, especially given that the idiot stole my asthma medicine and that needed to be made public. They could have overloaded their hearts if they took a lot of it. We left that at the possibility that someone might present in the emergency room with bronchial spasms and cardiac issues. Overdose of asthma meds will do that even to asthmatics. People do dumb things. So I made a list of what was missing, a couple of antihistamines and anti-seizure meds I kept for in case I had an emergency so I could function and not die on the way to get help. The idiots who stole the meds were ignorant. The people who brought this frivolous suit against Google aren't. They're culprits. Or else they can't read and shouldn't be using the computer anyway. The very first thing you see when you click on "Buzz" is a choice which says "Keep it Private" OR "Publish to the World."
I wrote the lawyers and told them I am opting out as this had nothing to do with me. How dare they demand I take my time, my supplies, my money, to answer them who have no right to know which email I use as I had not contacted them on anything. I think it was a ploy to get private information. And I bet if Google investigated, they'd find a bit of collusion and ulteriors besides for getting rich.
I told the lawyers also that if they really wanted to go after people who invade or breech privacy, there are a lot of non-profits out there who think nothing of disseminating your personal information to whom they choose. And there are those people who sell their mailing or customer lists. Can they get more stupid? My money stops going to my chosen charity the moment I am contacted by another of it's same affiliation. It's dumb. Why would you want to decrease the donation you get by sharing it among everyone else? This is not a democracy here, it's a capitalistic megalopoly and if you don't guard your assets, people's donation or purchse info being that, you will lose it. I promise it.
I hope these lawyers get a well earned lesson and walk away empty handed for making evryone else do their work for them. Oh yes, some do pride themselves on their laziness.
In the meanwhile, check you gmail. You have to opt out or else live with whatever those lawyers have in store for you. And if Google chooses to file a malicious prosecution suit in the aftermath, I'll testify on their behalf. This kind a garbage needs to be corralled sometime. And I'm speaking as a former associate ACLU member (my dues lapsed-my ethics haven't.)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Trick Questions
Q. Why can't you leave "feedback" to me?
A. You should be addressing your issues to the subject in question-i.e., the merchant, the politician. I can't change anything.
Q. Would you invest 10% of your income if you got a 100% worry-free return on it?
A. (?)
Q. Who's on your agenda?
(Multiple choice)
A. 1. Holt's office calls. It says "Please excuse the intrusion. This is Congressman Rush Holt. I'm calling to invite you to a telephone town hall meeting..."
A. 2. Siprelle's people call (and call and call and call...) "I'm calling on behalf of Scott Siprelle to remind you to send in your absentee ballot..."
Of course at dinner time, when else would working people want a break?
Q. Do you want to continue the oil disasters?
A. 1. No. I want to get as far away from that greedy war mongering bunch ASAP.
B. 2.Yes.
I think Governor Christie did the right hing cutting funds to mass transportation and forcing more people back in to depending on their own wallets paying higher insurance, car payments and or repairs, and fueling th need for oil-based fuels so I'm going to vote for Republicans..
Q. Can a man who has no record stand on his record?
Q. Have you checked in on YouTube to see what your electorati are really doing or is it just too easy to rely on the rock-star style publicity hype?
Q. Do you really know enough about what they're doing/planning to cast an informed vote?
Your conscience. Your country. My gulag.
I know what's right and wrong. I know both (or more) sides of the issue. Do you? Figure it out for real before you vote.
Pegi
A. You should be addressing your issues to the subject in question-i.e., the merchant, the politician. I can't change anything.
Q. Would you invest 10% of your income if you got a 100% worry-free return on it?
A. (?)
Q. Who's on your agenda?
(Multiple choice)
A. 1. Holt's office calls. It says "Please excuse the intrusion. This is Congressman Rush Holt. I'm calling to invite you to a telephone town hall meeting..."
A. 2. Siprelle's people call (and call and call and call...) "I'm calling on behalf of Scott Siprelle to remind you to send in your absentee ballot..."
Of course at dinner time, when else would working people want a break?
Q. Do you want to continue the oil disasters?
A. 1. No. I want to get as far away from that greedy war mongering bunch ASAP.
B. 2.Yes.
I think Governor Christie did the right hing cutting funds to mass transportation and forcing more people back in to depending on their own wallets paying higher insurance, car payments and or repairs, and fueling th need for oil-based fuels so I'm going to vote for Republicans..
Q. Can a man who has no record stand on his record?
Q. Have you checked in on YouTube to see what your electorati are really doing or is it just too easy to rely on the rock-star style publicity hype?
Q. Do you really know enough about what they're doing/planning to cast an informed vote?
Your conscience. Your country. My gulag.
I know what's right and wrong. I know both (or more) sides of the issue. Do you? Figure it out for real before you vote.
Pegi
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Fave Rave
Having been never home in my younger years due to dance, song, and acting, I never was much of an audience. Yet there are a few big and small screen appearances which are rarely missed by me when they are on. I am at this moment referring to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", which after the tenth viewing, I stopped counting.
Friends took me to see it at a local arts theater first in 1980. I didn't know what to make of it or the annoying audience. They'd seen it before. A lot of times before. They thought they were part of it. The media made them part of it. But this once, I was overhwelmed into being a stunned audience.
When Tim Curry made his meteoric entrance, a rush went through me. It shook me. How could a man dressed in beads, make-up and female underwear hit me that way? He did. The remainder of his cast faded beside him. It was the pinnacle performance of his career. Sadly consigned to the "cult" list, it didn't hit big on release. But it has been enduring.
Last seen, Tim Curry was in the end of season episode of "Criminal Minds". I didn't get to see the second half, played in the fall of the past year. Tim Curry's around. He's been in a number of roles which all have managed to underutilize his talent. But then, there aren't many roles written which equal "Frank n Furter". So, finally, I am recording it to VCR, and am going to sit back and relax and enjoy the feeling of my younger years, the angelic music, and the "Time Warp" again.
Salut, Tim Curry, wherever you may be!
Pegi
Friends took me to see it at a local arts theater first in 1980. I didn't know what to make of it or the annoying audience. They'd seen it before. A lot of times before. They thought they were part of it. The media made them part of it. But this once, I was overhwelmed into being a stunned audience.
When Tim Curry made his meteoric entrance, a rush went through me. It shook me. How could a man dressed in beads, make-up and female underwear hit me that way? He did. The remainder of his cast faded beside him. It was the pinnacle performance of his career. Sadly consigned to the "cult" list, it didn't hit big on release. But it has been enduring.
Last seen, Tim Curry was in the end of season episode of "Criminal Minds". I didn't get to see the second half, played in the fall of the past year. Tim Curry's around. He's been in a number of roles which all have managed to underutilize his talent. But then, there aren't many roles written which equal "Frank n Furter". So, finally, I am recording it to VCR, and am going to sit back and relax and enjoy the feeling of my younger years, the angelic music, and the "Time Warp" again.
Salut, Tim Curry, wherever you may be!
Pegi
I Never Talked About It....
It wasn't the shortest engagement on record, but 28 days if it was a month. I never said much because the reasons were so multiple, perhaps because of the schizophrenia he was beset with and the things connected therewith, or my ESP kicked in again. In any event, I ended it.
I had seen the man in the bar several times before, always too drunk to be spoken to. Two years later, he reappeared seeming all clean and sober and for some reason, maybe because I don't drink, velcro-izing onto me. At a point when I was ready to go home, he said "I'll walk you to your car." There he asked me if I'd consider going out with him. Hadn't expected that. Something in me said "If you say no, he is going to end up dead." How true that turned out to be. I said o.k, sure. He lived.
He lived because sometimes I can be a total _____. Not that I like it, but there are certain things I just can't let be. He was having some kind of problem, constantly falling asleep, complaining of stomach pain. On one of such days, I found his two sons, one 11 , the other approaching 4 years of age, clinging to each other trembling down in the computer room. I asked them what was wrong. They said "We think Daddy's on drugs again and we're afraid. He's going to die and we don't know what to do." I promised them it had me worried too, but for sure it wasn't drugs, it was something else and I'd make sure it was taken care of. I promised them.
I forced hin to go to the doctor. I hate it when people make me nag and get tough, I think they should be more mature and self-responsible than that. Just like I think they should get their own butts out of bed when it's time for them to go to work. Sense to go to the doctor and not give some gobblydygook excuse about the VA is going to whatever in six months. I finally got him to go to my doctor, whose husband is a cardiologist. She felt the stomach thing was something else, so right quick scheduled the jackass for another test next day.
A long test after a long drive, to be followed by a long night. The tests showed blockages in 3 coronary arteries. Emergency procedure was scheduled with first available for the next morning. The closest place was St. Michael's, in Newark, about 30 miles north, 5 AM the next morning. Though it was past winter, there was frost on my car. We did the trip. At the hospital, I had a long wait. It was only supposed to take a couple of hours, a 5 hour stay at max. There were complications.
It seems he was about to pop a couple of aneurisms the arteries to his heart. Stents had to be put in, there was a stability question. They didn't want to cause a rupture. They'd keep me informed. I called his parents. And waited some more. The nurses got me some food, I needed it right then. Around 7PM, they came and said he was asking for me. He was awake, a little out of it, but not bad. The doctors said it was too risky to let him go home. Go get some rest, come back tomorrow morning around 10 AM. I wasn't arguing. I was in awful pain from my spinal injuries. I can only be up for a while, then I need to lie down or I'll fall down. No fun. But I did what had to be done.
I never from the start thought about marrying him, he came up with that. But I'd answered that call that I'd heard when he asked me out. His family was thrilled, the kids were happy. They loved me and showed it. He couldn't stand that. He'd been the center of their attention for some time, since he'd gotten his psych-dis from the Marines and his ex-wife had died shortly after the birth of their second kid and end of marriage.
That's the reason it began. Why it ended, that will be another day's writing. But for now, I just was not going to live like that. Better for me in the long run to just walk.
til another day,
Pegi
I had seen the man in the bar several times before, always too drunk to be spoken to. Two years later, he reappeared seeming all clean and sober and for some reason, maybe because I don't drink, velcro-izing onto me. At a point when I was ready to go home, he said "I'll walk you to your car." There he asked me if I'd consider going out with him. Hadn't expected that. Something in me said "If you say no, he is going to end up dead." How true that turned out to be. I said o.k, sure. He lived.
He lived because sometimes I can be a total _____. Not that I like it, but there are certain things I just can't let be. He was having some kind of problem, constantly falling asleep, complaining of stomach pain. On one of such days, I found his two sons, one 11 , the other approaching 4 years of age, clinging to each other trembling down in the computer room. I asked them what was wrong. They said "We think Daddy's on drugs again and we're afraid. He's going to die and we don't know what to do." I promised them it had me worried too, but for sure it wasn't drugs, it was something else and I'd make sure it was taken care of. I promised them.
I forced hin to go to the doctor. I hate it when people make me nag and get tough, I think they should be more mature and self-responsible than that. Just like I think they should get their own butts out of bed when it's time for them to go to work. Sense to go to the doctor and not give some gobblydygook excuse about the VA is going to whatever in six months. I finally got him to go to my doctor, whose husband is a cardiologist. She felt the stomach thing was something else, so right quick scheduled the jackass for another test next day.
A long test after a long drive, to be followed by a long night. The tests showed blockages in 3 coronary arteries. Emergency procedure was scheduled with first available for the next morning. The closest place was St. Michael's, in Newark, about 30 miles north, 5 AM the next morning. Though it was past winter, there was frost on my car. We did the trip. At the hospital, I had a long wait. It was only supposed to take a couple of hours, a 5 hour stay at max. There were complications.
It seems he was about to pop a couple of aneurisms the arteries to his heart. Stents had to be put in, there was a stability question. They didn't want to cause a rupture. They'd keep me informed. I called his parents. And waited some more. The nurses got me some food, I needed it right then. Around 7PM, they came and said he was asking for me. He was awake, a little out of it, but not bad. The doctors said it was too risky to let him go home. Go get some rest, come back tomorrow morning around 10 AM. I wasn't arguing. I was in awful pain from my spinal injuries. I can only be up for a while, then I need to lie down or I'll fall down. No fun. But I did what had to be done.
I never from the start thought about marrying him, he came up with that. But I'd answered that call that I'd heard when he asked me out. His family was thrilled, the kids were happy. They loved me and showed it. He couldn't stand that. He'd been the center of their attention for some time, since he'd gotten his psych-dis from the Marines and his ex-wife had died shortly after the birth of their second kid and end of marriage.
That's the reason it began. Why it ended, that will be another day's writing. But for now, I just was not going to live like that. Better for me in the long run to just walk.
til another day,
Pegi
Friday, October 29, 2010
First Tuesday, November-Will chaos reign again?
Not everyone lives in New Jersey. Consider yourselves lucky. I don't know why people move here. To escape from New York, it seems. The situation is terrible. And maybe about ot get worse.
I am aware there are great differnces between the Medical Care Services one gets in NYC and what one does not get in NJ. Knowing best about NJ's lackings, I'll address, but not before I say something that's been needing to be said-last I knew, Rush Holt was not a rocket scientist. To the best of my knowledge, he was a nuclear physicist and a great humanist. But what would I know? I didn't work at PPPL all that long because of a shoulder which just wouldn't stay where it should. It was immobilizing and I couldn't do the drive. But the man know his stuff. He never sits still. He never stops.And he has a huge rank of Medicare/Medicaid constituents due to the numerous retirement villages in his district. He's my Congressman and I've been the happier for it. He is very responsive and Ihad the pleasure of walking a memeber of his staff thru the reality of "out here" a few years ago, courtesy of the "Walk a Mile...(in my Shoes)Program."
About medical care in NJ-you get it if you're lucky. If you're lucky, you can actually afford the outrageousness of the insurance companies who bleed you dry and then renege on their end of the contract (especially car insurance-it's mandatory here, and they screw you every which way even if, like me, you have never had a moving violation in your entire 42 year driving history. If you've been the victim of other drivers or as recently a tree falling on my car, you're screwed. They'll find a way not to pay. They expect everyone to just accept their phony damage estimate and don't argue with them. They put the doctors through the same crap.
My step brother is 5 years younger than me. They've had financial difficulties all along, but especially in this economy. They can't afford to go to the dentist, so he tries to work on his own rotting out teeth. Why? Because he was a trusting dummy who doesn't screw people over, so he expects the same. He nearly lost his house because of some scheister, he's barely able to keep his cars on the road (while "Detroit" rolls in "Goernment Gold"-since they priced themselves out of everyone's reach to begin with, they should have stayed there) and medical care? What's that?If they could afford the doctor, even though a lot of pharm co's have limited assistance for certain individuals, they can't bouy the medicine. So what's the point of any of it? And he doesn't understand that the system needs changing. He doesn't understand that being "American" is about changing what's wrong-that's what it was about from the day the Revolution grew from seed to germination. It's wrong to burden the people. Eventually, that took a war to extend to all the people, but slavery here is nowhere near dead. It just took on a more plasmatic form and hides at random in different houses. The current system of non-care in Medical field is a huge contributor to this. Why should a man lose his house just because he got sick once. Why should he have to take out a "Medical Savings Account" when he can't get his teeth fixed now?When his wife never gets over bronchitis because the house is always too hot in summer, too cold in winter and they can't afford medicine? Oh, they fell through the cracks. Yeah. That's a crack I'm sick of hearing. Stop with the cliches and get real like you maybe give a hoot because it maybe and probably will happen to you. Would have the thought the one good thing would have come out of the crashed econmomy. Maybe a few more people might actually care. But no. Once they get over their own rough stuff, it's now time to begrudge.
Medicaid doesn't pay docotors. I tried to find a Medicaid doctor for a friend via internet and can't even get a list of participating's from the state. She's a cancer survivior. She's not getting the right kind of care. The government has taken away funding because they figure the private sector is rolling in doantions dough. In a sense, they're correct, but the money isn't getting to the people to help them. It's going into administrative and "charity" perpetuating paychecks. To qualify as a charity, you can't show a profit. They find every way to hide it except to help the patients libe-really live. The only one that seems to vary from the norm are the AIDS charities, who realize there's more to medicine than hospital satys, such as eating and having a secure place to live, and maybe some rare addiction services program. Don't know for sure. But I do know that the only thing Medicaid wantsed to pay for was stays in nursing homes. So Senator Lautenberg authored the "Community Choice Act of 2009" so Medicaid could stop stuffing people into the 12x20 incacerations they get when they're old, sick and broke. Where did it go?
America, you have a bad habit of turning the lash on your own selves. When things get good, you decide it's time for a change. Due to your misconceptions, I haven't been to gynecologist in 9 years or had a mammogram in as many. And I was diagnosed with carcinoma in situ in both breasts just before that. But one clean biopsy, and the current Medicare (who, by the way, are actually NOT the government, but private insurance companies conctracted to the government) decides you are no longer in an "at risk" category. It used to take a few clean biopsies before you got pushed into that void. Private funding there has been disappearing too. There's a pre-process you have to go through to see what your financial standing is before you even get in the door for an appointment. And that's under the Susan B. Koman foundation's assistance. It always seems the poor can't get and the rich get everything for free here. Including medical care.
And no, the government does not take care of a person on Medicare. Depending on what you're willing to go without or have the ability to comprehend, you might get an HMO that includes most evrything, but then the dollar expenditure limits on other things will leave you bankrupt. Unless you're a Specified Low Income Medicare Beneficiary, you pay your Medicare premium straight out of Social Security, you pay your co-pays (20% or more), you pay for anything you need they decide they for some reason don't cover; you must accept the generic form of any medication if available (which I don't fully disagree with), you stiil sometimes have an enormous co-pay. This donut-hole they've been talking about, that's a $2,000. copay all-at-once on your medicine. (And now they give you $250. back if you go through that).
Do you get the picture? I hope so, because I live in it, and frankly, I don't want to look. It's coming onto Halloween Eve and I know I'd rather watch a horror movie which has less chance of happening than the horror that this mess is. And yes, the greedy get greedier. They won't even wait for Medicare to process before they start demanding to be paid. If you do that, you wait 3 months after they get the Medicare money to get paid back. Floating themsleves a loan on the those who are vicitms to be begin with-something attacked them-a germ, a virus, a car, a fall,--. And I know a system that was much better, where everyone had care and no one went without it. But I'm German and I know better than to say that America has the greatest medical care system in the world. You don't. Not even from the Capitalist Enterprise point of view that it is. If your docotr cures you, you're not repepat business. So where does that leave his business? It shouldn't be that your health and their monetary needs compete. I'm German, so I question everything-we don't want another Hitler, do we? Not most of us anyway. But then there are those days when the greedy little liars and crooks get away with what they get away with and no one can do anything about it and you begine to understand what was up with Josef Stalin-and you know you'ver been among them far too long.
When I was young, I never thought I'd have the ability to hate. But congratulations people. You've succeeded in teaching me that I most certainly can.
(P.S. I flunked typing. I know how to spell.)
Happy Hauntings!
I am aware there are great differnces between the Medical Care Services one gets in NYC and what one does not get in NJ. Knowing best about NJ's lackings, I'll address, but not before I say something that's been needing to be said-last I knew, Rush Holt was not a rocket scientist. To the best of my knowledge, he was a nuclear physicist and a great humanist. But what would I know? I didn't work at PPPL all that long because of a shoulder which just wouldn't stay where it should. It was immobilizing and I couldn't do the drive. But the man know his stuff. He never sits still. He never stops.And he has a huge rank of Medicare/Medicaid constituents due to the numerous retirement villages in his district. He's my Congressman and I've been the happier for it. He is very responsive and Ihad the pleasure of walking a memeber of his staff thru the reality of "out here" a few years ago, courtesy of the "Walk a Mile...(in my Shoes)Program."
About medical care in NJ-you get it if you're lucky. If you're lucky, you can actually afford the outrageousness of the insurance companies who bleed you dry and then renege on their end of the contract (especially car insurance-it's mandatory here, and they screw you every which way even if, like me, you have never had a moving violation in your entire 42 year driving history. If you've been the victim of other drivers or as recently a tree falling on my car, you're screwed. They'll find a way not to pay. They expect everyone to just accept their phony damage estimate and don't argue with them. They put the doctors through the same crap.
My step brother is 5 years younger than me. They've had financial difficulties all along, but especially in this economy. They can't afford to go to the dentist, so he tries to work on his own rotting out teeth. Why? Because he was a trusting dummy who doesn't screw people over, so he expects the same. He nearly lost his house because of some scheister, he's barely able to keep his cars on the road (while "Detroit" rolls in "Goernment Gold"-since they priced themselves out of everyone's reach to begin with, they should have stayed there) and medical care? What's that?If they could afford the doctor, even though a lot of pharm co's have limited assistance for certain individuals, they can't bouy the medicine. So what's the point of any of it? And he doesn't understand that the system needs changing. He doesn't understand that being "American" is about changing what's wrong-that's what it was about from the day the Revolution grew from seed to germination. It's wrong to burden the people. Eventually, that took a war to extend to all the people, but slavery here is nowhere near dead. It just took on a more plasmatic form and hides at random in different houses. The current system of non-care in Medical field is a huge contributor to this. Why should a man lose his house just because he got sick once. Why should he have to take out a "Medical Savings Account" when he can't get his teeth fixed now?When his wife never gets over bronchitis because the house is always too hot in summer, too cold in winter and they can't afford medicine? Oh, they fell through the cracks. Yeah. That's a crack I'm sick of hearing. Stop with the cliches and get real like you maybe give a hoot because it maybe and probably will happen to you. Would have the thought the one good thing would have come out of the crashed econmomy. Maybe a few more people might actually care. But no. Once they get over their own rough stuff, it's now time to begrudge.
Medicaid doesn't pay docotors. I tried to find a Medicaid doctor for a friend via internet and can't even get a list of participating's from the state. She's a cancer survivior. She's not getting the right kind of care. The government has taken away funding because they figure the private sector is rolling in doantions dough. In a sense, they're correct, but the money isn't getting to the people to help them. It's going into administrative and "charity" perpetuating paychecks. To qualify as a charity, you can't show a profit. They find every way to hide it except to help the patients libe-really live. The only one that seems to vary from the norm are the AIDS charities, who realize there's more to medicine than hospital satys, such as eating and having a secure place to live, and maybe some rare addiction services program. Don't know for sure. But I do know that the only thing Medicaid wantsed to pay for was stays in nursing homes. So Senator Lautenberg authored the "Community Choice Act of 2009" so Medicaid could stop stuffing people into the 12x20 incacerations they get when they're old, sick and broke. Where did it go?
America, you have a bad habit of turning the lash on your own selves. When things get good, you decide it's time for a change. Due to your misconceptions, I haven't been to gynecologist in 9 years or had a mammogram in as many. And I was diagnosed with carcinoma in situ in both breasts just before that. But one clean biopsy, and the current Medicare (who, by the way, are actually NOT the government, but private insurance companies conctracted to the government) decides you are no longer in an "at risk" category. It used to take a few clean biopsies before you got pushed into that void. Private funding there has been disappearing too. There's a pre-process you have to go through to see what your financial standing is before you even get in the door for an appointment. And that's under the Susan B. Koman foundation's assistance. It always seems the poor can't get and the rich get everything for free here. Including medical care.
And no, the government does not take care of a person on Medicare. Depending on what you're willing to go without or have the ability to comprehend, you might get an HMO that includes most evrything, but then the dollar expenditure limits on other things will leave you bankrupt. Unless you're a Specified Low Income Medicare Beneficiary, you pay your Medicare premium straight out of Social Security, you pay your co-pays (20% or more), you pay for anything you need they decide they for some reason don't cover; you must accept the generic form of any medication if available (which I don't fully disagree with), you stiil sometimes have an enormous co-pay. This donut-hole they've been talking about, that's a $2,000. copay all-at-once on your medicine. (And now they give you $250. back if you go through that).
Do you get the picture? I hope so, because I live in it, and frankly, I don't want to look. It's coming onto Halloween Eve and I know I'd rather watch a horror movie which has less chance of happening than the horror that this mess is. And yes, the greedy get greedier. They won't even wait for Medicare to process before they start demanding to be paid. If you do that, you wait 3 months after they get the Medicare money to get paid back. Floating themsleves a loan on the those who are vicitms to be begin with-something attacked them-a germ, a virus, a car, a fall,--. And I know a system that was much better, where everyone had care and no one went without it. But I'm German and I know better than to say that America has the greatest medical care system in the world. You don't. Not even from the Capitalist Enterprise point of view that it is. If your docotr cures you, you're not repepat business. So where does that leave his business? It shouldn't be that your health and their monetary needs compete. I'm German, so I question everything-we don't want another Hitler, do we? Not most of us anyway. But then there are those days when the greedy little liars and crooks get away with what they get away with and no one can do anything about it and you begine to understand what was up with Josef Stalin-and you know you'ver been among them far too long.
When I was young, I never thought I'd have the ability to hate. But congratulations people. You've succeeded in teaching me that I most certainly can.
(P.S. I flunked typing. I know how to spell.)
Happy Hauntings!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Not Another "New & Improved"
Do you remember the t.v. commercial for the "new and improved" whatever-it-whats-its"? Like laundry detergent, cold medicine, fabrics? Somehow or another, they never worked as well as the old ones? The same thing is happening with our computers.
There's way too much "upgrade and update" going on and it's causing quite a mess on this supposed information superhighway. It's not what I was going to write about today, but after going thru all this, I'm sure I don't recall what I did want to say. It wasn't about computers, or even the upcoming elections. I think it was going to be about jewelry. What do computers and jewelry have in common?
If the mode of transport to the store is your computer, beware. It has a nasty habit of not completely finishing your payment processing. So your order is stuck in limbo and you have no way to get it out. Try using the customer service system on ebay. Good luck. After a week or so, you might get to talk to someone. The individual merchants are much faster in replying and I can get something here from China faster than I can get it released from jtv. For what reason? JTV says credit card orders take ten days to two weeks to process. I knew something was wrong there, because in between I've ordered and received my merchandise from Hong Kong.
There's a nasty litttle pop-up from bizrate or whatever that keeps popping into my checkout sequence. If it happens to you, ignore it. They're trying to get your financial information under the guise "This order qualifies you for a $100. reward". Right. After they have you take a survey they claim is for JTV, they tru to sell ("give")you magazines for a $2.00 processing fee. A whole six bucks is what you'll pay, but the trick is that they now want you to give them your financial information so you can get your "free gift." Are any of us still that stupid? I hope not.
Internet Explorer has a nasty habit of aborting the entire checkout process when it says "Internet Explorer has blocked this website from displaying all content due to security certificate errors. Click here for options..." You click there and the page disappears. We need some heavy duty cyber-cops on Internet Explorer as well as any high volume sites which may be subjected to raiders. If the crooks spent as much brainpower improving the world as they do on defrauding it, things might change for the better. They might even find their minds occupied by something better than giving everybody else "the screw".
I can't believe I actually had to say to a supplier that if the goods were picked over when they got here, they're going back. No, I don't trust the warehouse & shipping crews. I've been out in the world too long to think they can be trusted. Especially when recently I got into a conversation with two ladies in the local Wal-Mart who told me I wouldn't believe if they said.
What they said was that the security people in a certain store were "setting up" employees to get busted by planting things in their pocket books and going thru their lockers(now there's a corrupted crime scene and should be thrown out of court)and diverting attention in that way from what was really going on. What was really going on was the security and warehouse people were once again doing as others I know of without a doubt have done:diverting (stealing)entire truck trailers full of merchandise to their own special depots. It was 1973 when I heard of the first incident. It is now 2010.
Perhaps some things never change in this world, but for sure, it's much easier now than ever to lose the paperwork in the cyberjungle. Truckloads of merchandise, medical records, financial records and IRS data. I've been around those blocks for my Dad an awful lot these past three years. He at least is fairly stable now whereas I am a fottstep away from being stuck in bed for a week. And an unnavigatable communications system doesn't help. My spine does not have an unbroken part in it. There isn't a day that I'm not in pain. And now computer programmers have deemed themselves "engineers". But what are they building other than something that would give Rube Goldberg nightmares? Not buildings or bridges r tunnels that people actually use. And if you live in New Jersey, please back Sen. Lautenberg in demanding the tunnell project and the elction results be gone over manually with a fine toothed comb.
Well, maybe one day it will all just cancel each other out and we can return to the world as we knew it: out, talking to other people, making deals face to face. But then, how would I be able to get things from China? Or track things from the moment they're shipped til they're in the mail carrier's truck? Some things were done right. Don't "new and imrpove" what doesn't need changing.
There's way too much "upgrade and update" going on and it's causing quite a mess on this supposed information superhighway. It's not what I was going to write about today, but after going thru all this, I'm sure I don't recall what I did want to say. It wasn't about computers, or even the upcoming elections. I think it was going to be about jewelry. What do computers and jewelry have in common?
If the mode of transport to the store is your computer, beware. It has a nasty habit of not completely finishing your payment processing. So your order is stuck in limbo and you have no way to get it out. Try using the customer service system on ebay. Good luck. After a week or so, you might get to talk to someone. The individual merchants are much faster in replying and I can get something here from China faster than I can get it released from jtv. For what reason? JTV says credit card orders take ten days to two weeks to process. I knew something was wrong there, because in between I've ordered and received my merchandise from Hong Kong.
There's a nasty litttle pop-up from bizrate or whatever that keeps popping into my checkout sequence. If it happens to you, ignore it. They're trying to get your financial information under the guise "This order qualifies you for a $100. reward". Right. After they have you take a survey they claim is for JTV, they tru to sell ("give")you magazines for a $2.00 processing fee. A whole six bucks is what you'll pay, but the trick is that they now want you to give them your financial information so you can get your "free gift." Are any of us still that stupid? I hope not.
Internet Explorer has a nasty habit of aborting the entire checkout process when it says "Internet Explorer has blocked this website from displaying all content due to security certificate errors. Click here for options..." You click there and the page disappears. We need some heavy duty cyber-cops on Internet Explorer as well as any high volume sites which may be subjected to raiders. If the crooks spent as much brainpower improving the world as they do on defrauding it, things might change for the better. They might even find their minds occupied by something better than giving everybody else "the screw".
I can't believe I actually had to say to a supplier that if the goods were picked over when they got here, they're going back. No, I don't trust the warehouse & shipping crews. I've been out in the world too long to think they can be trusted. Especially when recently I got into a conversation with two ladies in the local Wal-Mart who told me I wouldn't believe if they said.
What they said was that the security people in a certain store were "setting up" employees to get busted by planting things in their pocket books and going thru their lockers(now there's a corrupted crime scene and should be thrown out of court)and diverting attention in that way from what was really going on. What was really going on was the security and warehouse people were once again doing as others I know of without a doubt have done:diverting (stealing)entire truck trailers full of merchandise to their own special depots. It was 1973 when I heard of the first incident. It is now 2010.
Perhaps some things never change in this world, but for sure, it's much easier now than ever to lose the paperwork in the cyberjungle. Truckloads of merchandise, medical records, financial records and IRS data. I've been around those blocks for my Dad an awful lot these past three years. He at least is fairly stable now whereas I am a fottstep away from being stuck in bed for a week. And an unnavigatable communications system doesn't help. My spine does not have an unbroken part in it. There isn't a day that I'm not in pain. And now computer programmers have deemed themselves "engineers". But what are they building other than something that would give Rube Goldberg nightmares? Not buildings or bridges r tunnels that people actually use. And if you live in New Jersey, please back Sen. Lautenberg in demanding the tunnell project and the elction results be gone over manually with a fine toothed comb.
Well, maybe one day it will all just cancel each other out and we can return to the world as we knew it: out, talking to other people, making deals face to face. But then, how would I be able to get things from China? Or track things from the moment they're shipped til they're in the mail carrier's truck? Some things were done right. Don't "new and imrpove" what doesn't need changing.
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