Medical Malpractice or Obsession- Part II

To condense, my Dad now sits in a rehab center as I don't dare take him home with such a gross wound and still on intraveinous drugs.

After having brought him back from a stroke only to have a greedy little girl nearly kill him, the nursing home he was in was succeeding in stealing his will to live. I changed the door locks on his house to exclude the greedy one who still had a key and with an aide and without his son's knowledge, took him home. It took us 3 days to get his body temperature back to normal from them having him on an air mattress with no warming  barrier in between, merely a thin sheet; no top sheet, just a thin thing they called a "blanket".


It took us two weeks before we were able to get him strong enough to help us get him in and out of his wheel chair, bed and lift-up recliner. Within the month, he was walking again, so traumatized however he does not to last discussion remember any of this.

What led to this was "Miss Greedy" feeding him God knows what combination of drugs after I had already taken him to the doctor and he was already on medication.With guidance from the wound care center, I healed 3 large wounds and by myself, 4 small ones he had endured from collapsing when "Miss Greedy" forced him to get out of bed after I told him not to get out of bed til I came back. It was Septmber 3, 2009. just days before his 75th birthdayI had found an empty house, calling the police station to ask if the ambulance had dispatched. I got all sorts of disavowals of knowledge. One man called me back and siad he thought that the ambulance had been sent earlier but wasn't sure where they went. I called his doctor, who at that time still cared about his patient. I guess my Dad was making a lot of money for him considering that "Miss Greedy" managed to get my Dad stuck in the hospital nearly every two weeks.

When the aide and I took him home, a nurse from VNJ was ready to call in hospice services. Her exact words: "This poor guy can't take another hospital stay."

So if they were trying to kill my Dad, they failed at that time.

We had just celebrated his not having been hospitalised for 2 years under my supervision of his care and caregivers. I was told by one that I was very strict with her. I was able to tell this one I didn't have to be, she was strict with herself, but I am no more strict with anyone than is required or I would, being able, do myself.
I insist on all surfaces to be steam disinfected, no dust, no residues, garbage emptied every night, medical supplies, bandages and the like seperately triple bagged and immediately disposed of. My Dad's home was cleaner than some hospitals in the USA.

The aforementioned aide left because the State of New Jersey refused to renew her Certifications unless she worked through an agency or in a Nursing Home. My, my, how they bleed us dry.

The next aide was initially conscientious, then became acquainted with "Miss Greedy" who under yet another name was being "The Avon Lady". That aide, just like "Miss Greedy", was also discharged for neglect of her duties, negligence of the patient and direct as well as indirect insubordination and lieing about it, as I discovered when once again two wounds which could have been easily averted by a simple baking soda footbath every two or thee days and daily foot checks and ointments. How hard is that when putting on another person's socks? I had not been able to get there for a few weeks due to having to wait for an engine to be built for my car. When I discovered the wounds, ergo the lies, I didn't do what I wanted to do - I am not a physically violent person - but did not immediately throw her out of the house and render her homeless.
So I began to heal my Dad's feet. The wound on his heel, which had gone to the bone, was healed, the other in the process of healing, but she was banished to her quarters the moment my car pulled into the driveway.

Around his birthday, my Dad started having asthmatic bronchial spasms. I should have treated them myself. Instead, I took him to that doctor in question. The doctor's secretary was on the phone cancelling appointments and told us she had just called to cancel my Dad's but there was no answer.  The doctor didn't feel like staying in his office to write prescriptions, so told me to take him to the ER. No problems there. After two days, my Dad was cleared to go home and the foot doctor couldn't contain himself over the care I had rendered to my Dad's wounds. We spoke for a good ten minutes; his cardiologist just said to him to tell me he's fine, he can go home.

Enter the villain.

Apparently, he had gotten greedy and refused to release my Dad. He had him on an alarmed air bed that if the man so much as moved an alarm went off. Since the cardiologist and the podiatrist and the hospital had declared my Dad able to be discharged, his docotr was unmonitored except for the nurses who for some reason are fearful of countering the doctor or goin to administration. Seven days of these shennanigans and I told the nurse to have my dad ready for discharge at 4PM the next day. At 2:30 I finally got a call from what they refer to as his "primary care" physician ("his doctor") opening with the statement "Your Dad is in very bad shape." He wasn't when he went in there, just couldn't stop coughing, went through my head. Then came a string of lies about this and that and this test and that test (which upon learning later what medication my Dad was being given would have yielded a false positive reading for kidney failure and liver damage). I told him "No. I'm taking my father home".

I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse about these sudden alleged tests. The nurse (a man) called the doctors who were on staff in their field of expertise and neither had been called at any time during the week for blood or urine tests and "primary care" had called not ten minutes before he called me begging them to set up tests for the time I said I was taking him out of there.

My Dad was shaky and could not walk without leaning on me to get to his walker. Later that day when I changed his pull-ups I saw balck and blue marks on his belly. I asked him what that was and he said he didn't know, they weren't telling him anything. I called the hospital.

The black and blue marks were fro injections of Heparin, which my Dad's cardiologist who attended his quad bypass 12/2001 had very clearly dictated a letter stating that blood thinners were not to be used on my Dad.
Interim, the wound had scabbed over. That in treatment of diabetics is a great big NO! In addition, while my Dad had an open diabetic wound, the charlatan stopped ALL of diabetes medication. It is my belief that the intent was to kill my Dad.

We ran about to do all the tests demanded by the culprit, every trip out undid the healing which appeared to have begun. The tissue was patent, the scab had disappeared, but the wound, although not appearing infected; looking at them with jeweler's glasses, the appeared clean. So also agreed the foot doctor, but since the wound was widening we switched to saline dressings from alginates. The wound had been healing so well I didn't bother to order more alginate dressing. It appeared they would not be needed. But we were setting my Dad up for hyperbaric treatment and were in the process of doing all the clearance tests required for that. He was seen at the Hyperbaric center, they looked at the wound and said he was definitely a candidate for it, it would speed the healing and lessen chance for infection. That was a Thursday.

That Saturday, I put my Dad in the shower-there had been a lot of seepage and I did not want to tear the bandages off, so let the shower water dislodge them. When he came out of the shower, he left puddles of blood as he walked. I stopped the bleeding, cleaned the wound and dressed it with saline wet-to-dry therapy. I inistsed he not walk, but made him use his wheel chair.

On Sunday, my original aide came back on duty except for his foot care. Being a CNA(Certified Nursing Assistant), she naturally was standing by to help me. She came close to nearly having to revive me after I removed the bandages from my Dad's foot. I told her to look at it. She said "It wasn't like that!!!" I said "No, it wasn't." I was in shock. And I remain in upset beyond description.

What happens when a blood thinner, Heparin is specified, is administered with the presence of a Reactive Oxygen Species Bacteria (the hospital x-rays & MRI's showed the wound clean and no infection in the bone), the podiatrists having thought my Dad was discharged, nobody bothered to clean or keep the wound from scabbing over; administering Heparin against the directions from my Dad's cardiologist and my objections, Dr. Tusharkumar Mistry decided nobody knew anything and he was going to load my Dad up with Heparin, never having taken a bacterial culture or given any attention to the wound and just disregard everything everyone else said be cause HE was smarter than anyone else. And the bacteria had really high blood sugar levels to feed on; the Heparin causes the scavenger cells (phagocytes) from locating dead cells and engulfing them, in essence, making like pac-man and eating them up. While the wound had externally appeared to heal, there was all this dead tissue from them letting it scab over undisposed of because of the Heparin. The thin tissue which had looked patent was covering a pool of clear yellow exudate mixed with blood. When that oozed out, what I saw was a cavern with tendon and bone exposed.

Perhaps without the delay in the Emergency Room, the surgeaon might not have had to cut out 1/3 of my Dad's metatarsal bone or flesh the size of an ice cream scoop through the full thickness of my Dad's foot and they would have succeeded with IV antibiotics. The surgeon said there was no time to waste. He did say he didn't want my Dad to lose his foot. He called to say he had successfully removed all the infected bone and tissue, which was really difficult. I was still stunned from what I saw, how long the delay was, and having been told the previous night that no one was considering surgery. I'm glad he didn't tell me the mortality rate from this is 73%. I didn't know what to say to the man but "Thank God. Thank you."

I will have to call him to find out what we do next. Later I have to meet with my Dad's prior to 2008 physician and fill him in on the horror show my Dad, his son, and I have endured under that other man, who presented himself as the rescuing night in shining armor but houses one of the blackest, most rotten hearts I've ever encountered.

So you may wonder why I didn't get rid of him before. My Dad made the mistake of writing a dual Power of Attorney wherein his son and I had to agree before any action could be taken. And at the time, he was so enamored of "Miss Greedy" he couldn't see the harm she was causing, much  less any idea what the doctor was talking about or listen to me. It was more than an entire year wherein we did not speak.

I am enraged inside that someone came along and destroyed all the sometimes excruciating work (I'm disabled-sometimes my body is a total mass of pain, my sleep is whenever it comes, I eat when I rememeber in between making sure my Dad is cared for, his medicals are in order, his finances are in order, his house is the optimum of cleanliness and attempt to do the same for myself.

Everyone keeps saying I have to put myself first. In a convoluted sense,the effort I put into keeping my Dad  well is putting myself first. Because keeping him well, I don't have to heal him. But the nurses and aides and too many doctors don't care about that; how bad a diaper rash has gotten (so bad Dad needed IV Mitronydazole) or even tell the doctor that the man has had feces running out of him for a week (I told the doctor-he took a culture-it was a stomach virus and required oral mitronydazole). Yet they tell me that they had to change his pull-ups 6 times in 7 hours.

God help us. More needs changing than just the financing of health care in the USA and I hope this writing will prevent someone else from losing a limb or their life.

Prinzessin Hohenzoller 

Medical Malpractice or Obsession?

We keep hearing things about the greatness of the US medical care system.

It's "great" allright, in the senses that it's large. But "great" in the sense of "good" it isn't.

I've been going through hell this past week. Why?

Because an obsessive/compulsive/Napoleonic Complexed physician nearly succeeded in causing the loss of my diabetic stepfather's foot.

For two years, I've been doing daily wound care nursing, rain or shine, well or ill, for my "Dad", who unfortunately, has become diabetic. The wounds on his feet have not been properly diagnosed or treated since day one. They come from restless leg syndrome, wherein he "doggy paddles" his feet in his sleep and from a bad habit he has of propping his legs into a "v" by leaning them on his heels. These developed in my absence while he was under the care of a delusional person who first called herself a homemaker, then a home health aide, then thought she was a nurse and finally thought she was a doctor. She was anything but an actual caregiver, the position she was hired for. My stepbrpther, his own son, is not the most observant or astute person when it comes to well-care. Between their shennanigans, they almost killed my Dad.

In the hospital, his already severe diaper area wounds became so severe his buttocks were bleeding. No attention was given to the wounds on his feet. The docotr was pumping him full of blood thinners and Vancomycin, which did nothing for his wounds. He was moved to a nursing home where I took control and demanded they allow me to take him to Wound Care Center at St. Peter's. They were reluctant; I was adamant. I got my way. Coming in to the nursing home to do the wound care daily as prescribed, they finally got on the ball and seeing me come in with my little pink medical bag, they finally got panicky and started doing the wound care as prescribed. (I had complained to the attending physician that they were failing to do so.)
That was 2009. I healed 9 wounds on the man in this time frame. On October 17, we celebrated that under my supervision, he had not been hospitalized in 2 years. Prior to this, he was in and out of the hospital like it had a revolving door set up for repeat patients. I couldn't get my brother to see. After October 17, 2009, I changed all the locks on the house and basically kicked all but my Dad, myself and a real Home Health Aide out. It took us 3 days to get his body temperature back up to normal; 2 weeks for him to be able to get himself out of his wheelchair and into his chair and bed. He was unable to do so when I "sprung" him from the "nursing home". This country has few true "Nursing homes"; they have "sick & elderly storage" facilities, where they put you and wait for you to die.

The first encounter I had with a "Socail Worker" at one place my dad was erroneously sent left me stunned. Her first question was "What are your wishes in regard to your father?" I said "We'd like him to come home as soon as feasible." She said that wasn't what she meant. What were our final wishes for my father. I told her we didn't have any "final wishes" at this point, we wanted him well. If he was going to die, the hospital would have kept him. I learned that isn't so anymore necessarily. They ship them off to nursing home. Which accounts for a lower mortality rate at any given hospital. Who knew?

After they refused to let me take him to the hospital when he was obviously having a stroke, as soon as he made it clear he was planning to escape on his ow, I was going to take him out on  visitation and get him t a medical facility. They called 3 days before and wanted to know if we had gotten him a caregiver as they were going to release him on that day. They released him, saying, he'll be back or he'll be dead. Well, with 20 medications, some he should never have been on, keeping his blood sugar at 90 or below to keep him quiet, no wonder they thought so.

Within 5 days, my Dad was clearly not himself. I called my contacts who advised we bring him to a facility which was both medical and mental health. We did. His heart rate had dropped to 32 beats per minute and that was why he was acting as though in dementia, in conjunction with being heavily overmedicated. He was in for a week, out for 2 days, and back in again. This time for so many weeks I lost count. Epinephrine shots directly into his heart. The only person he recognized was me. He thought he still lived in a home he hadn't lived in since he went into the army at age 18. He was going to go out to the corner and take a bus there. He got confused and hallucinated a toilet next to a sink in the hospital hallway where there was none. The bathroom in his room looked like part of the wall, even I couldn't figure out where it was.

He finally got out and I got the psychiatrist to take him off the Depakote Sprinkles. She switched him to Abilify. I fired his Home Health Aide for refusing to take his blood pressure when I knew there was a problem. Her comment to me "I took it at lunch yesterday." I asked her, "Do you know what a nitroglycerin tablet is?" "NO.". That did it.

My dad was improving, recovering from the stroke when Miss I Am Everything decided to push her way in, and in the process first get my best friend not only to leave her caregiver position, but never speak to me again. Then she succeeded in forcing me out. And proceeded down the path of nearly killing my Dad.

My Dad and I have a very close paranormal connection. I always know when something isn't right. if not for that, he would have died in 2007. I'd had a bad couple of weeks with my own illnesses and trusted his son to watch him. I spoke to both of them, daily to my dad. They told me everything was fine. I had that awful feeling and dragged myself to his house. There he sat in his shorts with all these holes in his legs which were filled with decaying matter. I talked him into going to hospital. He stood up an colapsed. I told him not to move. I called the emergency squad.

The emergency room left him sitting in a wheelchair for multiple hours before I finally wrangled a guenry from them. That was the last time he was conscious for 5 days. He had MRSA. sepsis, pneumonia, subdural hematoma and internal bleeding from collapsing on to his walker. He had been afraid to go to the hospital because he thought they would cut his legs off. That was before the first nursing home where he had his first stroke. He already had a heart attack years before and a quadruple bypass, but was still a normal, functional human being.

Everyone refused to allow his usual doctors to attend him. Everyone refused to transfer him. Along came this nice little man who asked to be put in charge of the case. He gave me his assessment and it made sense. Initially, in my experience, there was no physician who was more attentive to his patient.

But my Dad had been put on Abilify. One night I missed a dose and my Dad seemed normal the next morning.
I gave him the prescribed dose and he was whacked out again the next day. I researched it, told the doctor. He had to put him in the hospital to observe this himself before he took him off the medicine. It escalated. More and more hospital emergency room admissions, and my dad getting sicker and sicker. When I took over, I fully researched everything. If the medicicne was stopped, I told he docotr at next scheduled visit. He'd get mad. Under my care, my Dad didn't need him much, just the right medicine. Which it turns out he wasn't getting. He was given medicine for high blood pressure when his BP and heart rate were low. He was given Lipitor when his strength and muscles began wasting away. He was given blood thinners contrary tohis cardiologists' orders. He was kept in hospital despite all other docotrs having cleared him to go back to home care.This one refused to discharge him, telling "Your father is in really bad shape." I asked what was wrong. In reality, there had not been any reason for him to be in the hospital, I was met with a barrage of lies and excuses. I took my Dad out of there after speaking to everyone who had cleared him to go home two days after admission. When I took him out, he was barely able to stand on his own. I learned that they had been giving him shots of Heparin in his belly, taken him off all diabetes medicine, and given an IV drip of Vancomycin. On admission to the hospital, his foot wound was examined, x-rayed, MRI's, scanned, re-examined. The foot doctor was beside himself with praise for the condition I had his wound in. By the time I took him out of the hospital, no one had done anything but run a 4oz syringe of saline and putting a gauze square, unsecured, on it. the wound had expanded and begun to be infected.

Under home care, he began to improve, but I wanted to be sure I was moving in the right direction. I took him to a foot docotr whose group had previously healed a serious wound on my Dad's foot, wherein the flesh had detached from the foot itself. The doctor opted for slaine threapy and heperbaric treatments. In process of getting the tests needed for hyperbaric treatment, the wound had begun oozing exudate mixed with blood, with slight infection. I use jeweler's headgear to examine the wounds. It seemed to have cleared enough for my Dad to have a shower. I left the dressing in  place and let the shower water soak it off so I wouldn't cause it to bleed.

When he came out of the shower, the wound was puddling blood. He was somewhat "out of it" and I had to holler at him to put his foot up, it was bleeding a lot. I stopped the bleeding, checked for infection, cleaned it with saline and dressed it. I put protective quilt batting and the booties on him to protect the wound. When I changed the dressing on Sunday, the wound had collapsed from the inside out and his bone was clearly (to me)visible. I got him to the docotr Monday and told him I didn't think this could wait for Bariatric; he agreed-the toes and heel were cold, but the instep and above were pink and very warm. He said to go to the emergency room, he needed immediate IV therapy.

The ER was a nightmare. They didn't triage, they just took names. Despite the docotrs having called ahead to have my Dad admitted, we had to wait with a bunch of people who were there simply because they hadn't gone to a regular doctor and felt it convenient to go to the ER now. After 3 hours,, due to muscle wasting from the Lipitor, my dad couldn't stand any more. We had to leave.

I called the doctors the next day. They said go back tothe same ER. We got there at 4PM. Finally at 11PM someone attended my Dad-despite having given the admissions people all the information, that he had a severe infection with an exposed bone and emaceration and was oozing blood and exudate from his foot. 
Thursday AM I got a call from a surgeon whom I had never heard of telling me they were ready to go into surgery to "debride" the wound. I told him I wanted to call someone else. He told me there wasn't time. I asked him, are you telling me this infection is moving so fast you can't wait?" He said "Basically". I asked him a couple more questions, like "You are only going to debride the wound, nothing further? etc." He said he really wouldn't know for sure til he got in there and saw it, he only had 10 minutes to get into the o.r. and I had to talk to the anesthesiologist, who wasn't in such a hurry and listened carefully to what I said. My Dad came through fine, and seemed to be recovering by 2PM when I got to the hospital (his Home Health Aide had been bedside the whole time). That is until we saw what this debridement consisted of. Like someone had taken an ice cream scoop and chopped out a piece of my Dad's foot. The surgean had taken 1/3 of the metacarpal bone, but the tendons were intact and said it was difficult because the infection had gone into the joint.


The discussed the whole thing with the cardiologist the other night. I gave him the whole history. I don't remember the medical name, but the heparin injection which had been ordered by my dad's "Primary" while in RWJUH had somehow disrupted the oxygen supply and the infection began from the inside out.

It's a good thing I have a lot of self control. I am very careful around my Dad not to cause any cardiac issues or stress him into a stroke. When I saw the flesh gone from around the tendons and the bone that Sunday night, I wanted to scream with all my might. I couldn't believe what I was looking at. With and without my jewler's workbench glasses.I packed it with saline as the last pack of alginate composite had disappeared. I told my Da, "It's really bad. I don't know what happened to it, but it is beyond anything I can take care of.

We left the ER, I changed the dressings with saline. Before leaving for the E.R. the next day, I found the Fibracol Plus I had left. The wound nearly swallowed up a four-folded piece 2"x2" Fibracol. By the time the E.R. took us, it was satuarated, as were his bandages. They never removed the Fibracol and left the wound open. Finally they wrapped some gauze around it. While he was in a hallway with all kinds of people going back and forth, a wound down to the bone exposed. Why? Maybe because he said he wasn't in pain. He has diabetic neuropathy and no feeling in his feet. He had no idea what was going on down there. The doctor asked him why he was ther and he said "Because my doctor said I had to be." They wouldn't have cared even if he was in pain. They didn't care about the lady who was in severe pain. I told her she did not have to stay there, she could go to another hsopital, which was what was going to happen if we were not seen within the hour. I was on the phone to another ER when they called us in.

I'm sick over it. And that's not even the end......

more mistakes and overstepping report tomorrow-like why is the infectious disease doctor prescribing cardiovascular drugs when ON THE RECORD the patient's cardiologist's partner was in attendance....

Prinzessin Hohenzoller

No Fiddler on This Roof

First time in my American apartment in 3 months, and "Fiddler on the Roof" is on the tv.

As I watch, I see the miracle of love can still exist amidst the demonizing essense of prejudice and hate. Hope can still exist even when all seems lost. For many, the human spirit is strong enough to move forward, not look back, start afresh, or simply clean up the rubble of destruction. People can unite and therefor, survive.

It is not a thin most of the USA has learned. They are seperated, relying on money, kissing up to the rich and powerful, or just plain expecting someone else to do it. It is a place of selfishness, of phoney definitions of success, of egocentricity and self-aggrandizement with no basis in fact. And it is an unfortunate fact that those mst arrogant are those who, with the help of governent money to put them through scholl and their background of color and heritage has given them a position which allows their arrogance. I am a recent victim of this. I thought I would not see the day where a black person would be prejudiced againts me. But it happened, by one of the chraracter above described, over a stupid traffic ticket for nothing mor ethna not having my inusrance card in my possession.

The prjudice was obvious from the man saying to me- being the age of 60 - "You can come in
in just a momen, young lady." I hadn't even knocked on the door jamb yet.

Then came a tirade about his wife and him being in an accident in Detroit and being hit by someone, thank goodness they had insurance; he'd hate to be hit by someone with no insurance.

Being the vicitim of several cars slamming into mine, mu response was " I wouldn't like to get hit by anyone."
I have learned that most of the insurance companies are a scham and they get away with their scams, are never brought to justice and never pay for the extent of the damage caused. In the long run, what they pay makes little difference at all.

I told the prosecutor, I simply did not have the card in my posession. It was obvious he had already made up his mind that I am many things which I most certainly am not. Beginning with "Young Lady". Moving on to his unsaid assumption that I had no insurcance in effect because I stated that the document was not in my posessions because I had left it at home with the intent of changing companies.

He apparently also assume the ticket existed because I had committed some kind of infraction.

Fact is, there have been numerous females with long blonde hair reported missing all over the television. Having fallen down the stairs the forenight of this day, I tried to realign the vertebrae in my neck which was interpreted by the officer going southbound (i was going north) that I needed him to pull me over. I commend him for that, for obvious reasons. Obvioulsy, I was not speeding as I had sparained my ankle in the fall the fprenight previous and had the cruise control set at 40, relieving the pain in my lower extremeties. However, he had to follow form and request driver license, registration and insurance card. I had two in my possession, both expired. He had to write a ticket on failure to present document after asking if the insurance was in effect.

He wrote it as a "court appearance required", most likely with the same certainty that once insurance was established, it would be dismissed, asis the normal course of action. That is not what happened.

I listened to the prosecutor's litany about the legislature has set mandatory payment of $150.00 for not having the document in possession. He continued to list the fiens for no license, no registration, that failing to have registration in possession
carried a more pubitive fine that not registering the car at all. He stated the fines were mandatory due to action of the NEW Jersey Legislature. I asked who do I pay the fine to , you? No, he aid, I had to sdee the judge first. The judge was stunned when the prosecutor said he was asking for the maximum. The judge had some questions for me. I told him, I simply did not have the card in my possession. Apparently, the fine being mandatory, mitigating circumstances were ireelevant. The judge was clearly upset, except that he established no one had coerced me into pleading guilty and I agreed to pay the fine. What choice did I have?

The judge's ruling or the ticket itself without this so-called legilative ruling was a $5. fine and $33, court costs.

So  I paid my $189.

I am waiting to hear from th prosecutor the exact particulars, statute number and content which he cited, as I intend to file a redress of grievance with the legislature. I am awaiting a reply.

I have spent my life making certain I drive within legal bonds. I have been ridiculed,beeped at, screamed at, given the finger, cursed at, derided for "driving by the book" my entire life. I have been permanently disable because other drivers slammed into me while I was driving within the bounds of the law, yielding to traffic  and pedestrians as mandated. Yes, there may be accidents listed on my driving record, but none of them were any wherein I was outside the bounds of the law. In fact, I dropped one insurance company because they chose to settle a claim without my knowledge wherein clearly the man had swerved into my car and kept going. He was near arrested by police for disorderly conduct (and most likely drunk). The Inrance Board and the Police Department, after I submitted the scientific evidence of events which proved I could not have hit him. My bumper was torn forward and not pushed in as it would have been had I hit him. The scientific proof showed I could not have hit him. My insurance at the time made light of it. It wasn't major; less then $500., not even reportable. But it was major to me. I simply do not create accidents. On 3 occassions, I was nowhere near on my. On one occasion, I had been sent by my employer to pick up a car at Newark Airport for my supervisor. It was to go under the compnay's insurance. My supervisor, as typical, wasn't paying attention and ran into a legally stopped car in fromt of him. It went on my driving record.

I'm waiting to hear that the prosecutor's decision was based on my age and that particular record.  I am not a current member of ACLU only  because I could not at the time afford the dues, but I did recently connect with a local Political Action group.

Justice in the USA? Liberty for all? It's been nothng but one big lie and becomes more fascist with every minute that someone isn't blowing the whistle on the government ot challenging their right to enact unconstitutional legislation. This particular item is both cruel and unusual to a driver of my age. I have been driving since 1968 with zero infractions.

I am alone. I am in non-stop chronic pain with acute episodes in between, trying to care for a stepfather who chose to drink himself into oblivion which did not kill him but left him brain damaged
for the balance of his life. There simply is no brain tissue in certain areas. It was destroyed by alcohol and the brain cells will never grow back. He is on of the most major scoff-laws I have ever encountered, especially whn it come to driving. So is 50% of New Jersey, judging by what I have to endure while I am upholding th law.

And now this. And I say to myself "Why do I bother?" It was a desperate fight to keep my Midnight cat alive. A fight we lost. I had to let her pass out of this world after 15 years of loyalty and love. Do they really think I give a damn about thier little hissy-fit over some dumb-ass card which does of itself do absolutely nothing at at all? Which are easily forged and passed off as legitimate while the driver is actually not insured?

I've know for some time that the government doesn't care about anyone's constituitonal rights, about victimizing people and treating persons as though thye are criminals when they are anything but? They gave me no justice. They deprived me of 4 hours of liberty travelling to, from, and waiting in court, and $189. which I intended to use for physical therapy.

Do you call this justice? Cause I sure don't. And if this is the place-and I truly believe it is-where Armageddon is to be invoked by the Almighty, it is because they deserve it. I believe so. Based on these things they call "Natural Disasters"..........well, befor they ruin the entire thing and the rest of the world with it.

Prinzessin "Pegi" (Regine Hohenzoller, von Vater Nikolaus)

Gato Noire-A Sad Part

My little Midnight cat, the subject of my poetic tribute in "Rock My Soul" for some reason decided to stop eating. My initial remedy was to buy two of everything on the market to tempt her. No success. She was, however, drinking water. No defecation except a couple hard little rabbit pellets.

Next stop, veterianarian. God love her, she has been the best thing for my animals and me. They love her. I tell Midnight, "we go see Dr.K_ _ _ _ tomorrow. Midnight allows me to put her into the carrier with no fuss, no fight. It was not always so. I had to trap her, even with a top loading carrier, in a corner where the only escape was into the carrier. And she cried. And she vomited. Never pleasant, but she has formed an affinity to this doctor. She knows shw will feel better afterward.

We're not thru this yet. It seems Midnight has had kidney failure. Dr. K gave her an antibiotic injection; sub-cutaneouos rehydration, and blood work. By the time I got Midnight home, she had perked up and was eating. Finally.

Next day was insane. My stepfather's home care person's incompetence left me dealing with multiple issues-trip to cardiologist, lunch, bank, to his home, moving his nebulizer so the air intake ports were not blocked and making it fucntional again (his lips were cyanotic at lunch). Ms. I-don't-have-a-brain-in-my-head-cause-I'm-lazy finally saw fit to tell me something was wrong with "his big toe". I took a look. There was something wrong with the entire foot. From the color, I panicked for a moment, saying "Might have to go to hospital." On furhter examination, I noted two injuries which had occurred a few days earlier and most likely in that yellow spectrum that broken blood vessels get in the process of healing, though very swollen. I ordered ice packs for the next several hours and went home for a nap. I was woken by the awaited timely call from the vet. She said the kidney "values" were very elevated, that I would continue to give the antibiotic injections for the next week and I was to bring Midnight in so the vet tech could show me the actual procedure for subcutaneous rehydration. Midnight was a perfect little lady thoughout the entire process. She has always been a super-good cat, with some of the endearing qualities of normal cats, like scratching the furniture and walls, but always responding immediately to my voice. I have never had to yell at this cat.

Midnight's rehydration complete, I brought her home and made a "soup" of her food-she drank it, plus water. She finally defecated while I was out on part II of covering caregiver slacking-picking up medicine for Dad, rechecking his foot, and rebandaging his hand which she now claims she dow not know how to do (after bandaging my stitched hand for a week last year). The pharm tech dropped the new nebulizer filters outside my bag. The pharmacy called and I had to go back. And forgot to pick up my own asthma medication. Contrary to rumor, cats do not give people asthma. My asthma was uncontrollable until Miss Midnight decided to move in.

Miss Midnight came with two who were left of her first litter, who were adopted out. She then presnted me with four more. I knew the night she was going to have them, I left early despite having some songs to sing still. I went to sleep. In the morning, I checked the closet I had cleared for her delivery. It looked like she had four sets of rolled up little socks next to her, two fully black, two fully white. The two little black ones were in demand, the two little white ones I kept. As they grew, they developed "points", one short haired, the second for a time looking like a fuzzy little caterpillar. One turned out Tonkinese, the other Balinese. Miss Midnight herself is a Bombay. I told her, I have no idea who you were with, but you certainly have excellent taste. She was a good little mommy cat, and I made sure she knew that. She gave me the biggest, longest lasting joys I have ever had in my life. But the pollution and carcinogens took their lives when they were 12 years old. I thought I would die, that my heart would explode. Miss Midnight wasn't faring much better. Much support from my vet for me and what to do for my little girl. But it wasn't the same. Even now she looks for them. There was a beaver "out back", who from a distance resembled my Dusty Kitty. She'd call to him from the window. One day I saw one dead in the road. Our beaver came back no more.

They say there is little hope for cats with renal disease, that it is always fatal. Something always is. My Midnight cat is 18 years old by the vet estimate; I thought 17. She came to me 15 years ago and has been a very content and sweet companion except if her litter box wasn't pristine clean. Then I wouldn't hear the end of it. She insisted I immediately clean after her use of it.

One winter after I lost my "little guys", there was a cat in distress in the ice & thaw cycle. I hadn't planned to keep her, but Midnight, I thought, might want the company and the cat seemed well behaved. Then there came a jealousy. So today, after I heard a hissing from the bedroom where I had put Midnight for peace, Kawasaki Kitty got chased out of there by me. We had a twenty minute conversation. This cat answers me! There has been peace since then. A really good kitty. She always finds the part of me that is in pain and lays across it and the pain goes away, like she is absorbing it into herself. I hope it isn't hurting her.

Meantime, I was down all Saturday from exhaustion:physical, mental, emotional. I made the cat "soup" for both cats. Kawasaki isn't eating Midnight's food anymore, but is also not eating if Midnight isn't. That's a little extreme compensation, so I'll have to remind Kawasaki that she is to eat her own food.

Later today I will be making my first attempt at subcutaneous rehydration. Midnight is very good. I'm very good at giving needles; one of the little ones I lost took seven years of insulin shots from me. And he'd come to me when it was time for his next dose. Wish my stepdad was the same when it came to his. One night I had already drawn his blood and given him his shot and he was sitting there with his sleeve up, telling me he wasn't going to wait all night that way. He pitched a fit that I'd done it without him "knowing." That was the point. It only hurt him because he knew what I was doing, not that what I did was hurting him. I had to leave the house. His whining and howling was unbearable and beyond absurd. I don't think it'll be that hard to give my Midnight what she needs.

So we return to the vet next Friday. Meanwhile, some research revealed that a commonly prescribed antibiotic by the name of Gentomicin is suspected in contributing to kidnay failure. Yes, Miss Midnight had some for an ongoing eye condition she came to me with when she first became "my cat". Another interesting item is that a drug called Tresaderm is also used. Tresaderm contains Merck manufacture thiabendiazole, which contains significant level of nickel and/or zinc as it's effective ingredient and it was working on the site which manufactures this during the manufacture time that nearly killed me. The Merck Index claims there is no lethal dosage level in this primarily agricultural substance, but further independent sources do list and LD level on it. Why is that? It's their biggest money maker and the will blame anything they can rather than admit their product is not only a potentially lethal substance, but has also in fact intensified the funguses it is supposed to control. And we get to drink the milk from the cows they use it for instead of rigorous cleanliness and correct lighting.

Making the entire thing typical of USA's failure to keep up with modern medicine, a drug was developed which everywhere else prolonged the lives of cats with renal failure. Novartis got the rights to it by purchasing the division of Saankyo Lifetech which manufactures "Kremezin". I do not know if the FDA has finally gotten around to approving it yet orif it's hung up in their capitalist machine as with most things. The most expensive drugs have the trial periods waived and sometimes kill people. They've had since prior to 2004 to test and approve Kremezin.

Meanwhile, all I can do is what I have to do and hope my little Miss Midnight (she is only 7 lbs. right now) has the will and strength to get through this; that I have the blessings of God once again to effect through me the healing which I am about to undertake this week and probably the next few years. Having had this cat for so many years, I'm far from ready to let her go any time soon. I put a Miraculous Medal on her collar because when I wore it andprayed over my stepdad's diabetic wounds, they healed within two weeks after not responding for 18 months. The docotr at the outset then told me "You are doing the Lord's work now." Yes, I guess I am again. I pray Divine Providence be with me to heal this little cat.

Prinzessin Hohenzoller
July 3, 2011

Drei.

There were three children. Apparently, USA "Human Rights" don't include stopping someone from bleeding to death internally bevause he was too sick to have the means to pay for his care.

Rest in Peace, Harald Franz Gango
Born 16th August 1952, Tomorroe, Germany
Died April 25, 1999, New Brunswick, NJ USA, after many years of abuse and neglect at the hands of "Amerikans"

The only one who has anything is the one born to the American on the US Base in Augsburg.

Truth.
Pegi

Another Cruel Hoax

Hillary Clinton is once again spending money to lecture another Continent about what she herself failed to deliver to Citizens of the United States of America. And sees no problem with spending money which could be used to secure those human rights in the United States. The USA is a failure, politically, economically, and especially in human rights.

If people can actually afford a doctor, they cannot afford the surgeries, medications or follow-ups to go along with that. Many go to sleep at night and spend each day in hunger and pain. And she is going to tell a continent of which she knows nothing about human rights. Were there any, I would have been home in Europe first off in September 1959, secondly no later than Christmas 1971. I have not been able to escape their failure to grant me the right to be even who I am and live where I choose to--not in the USA, at home, on my Germany, at my house, with my people, with my Human Rights and dignity intact. The ways of the USA and their so called Democracy which is nothing but a guise for Capitalist tactics, refuses me that and has so refused me for 52 years.
So don't lecture Europe about Human Rights, Hillary. You have gangs in the streets here demanding theirs even if it means taking a life for the sake of surviving in this mess you promote worldwide. Hallary Clinton is no one to be talking about Human Rights. Especially given the ongoing prejudice against anything not "Umerikan". Do you really think prejudice against Negroes ended ? It hasn't. Not on the street, not in the courts, and certainly not in business. Don't let her deceive you and cause you to follow that which brings nothing but heartache and lifelong enslavement.
I lived in Europe for 8 years and 5 1/2 months. Never was there a day when I did not get as much food as I wanted, the medical care I needed, the heat required to keep me warm. Not so in the USA. I received cardiac care in Germany from the age of 4 to the age of 8, when I was forced to stay in the USA. I never again got care for my cardiac condition until I got a doctor who was trained in in Indida. That was from 1959 until 2005. My condition is such that I could have died at any moment. 46 years to get medical care?

I never had kids becasue of pain in my lower right abdomen. It turned out there was a massive cyst which had swallowed my right ovary. The pain began in 1965. It was not treated until 1994. That is 29 years without proper medical care. It could have burst. Had I become pregnant, it would have burst and cost not only my life, but likely that of any child in my womb. I always said "If I EVER get pregnant, I am leaving for Germany IMMEDIATELY." I already knew I couldn't trust the USA to do the right thing. And Hillary Clinton thinks the US and she herself have some right ot lecture Europe on Human Rights? Not by my life.

And the USA has another problem. The people aspiring to higher office are icapable of differentiating a period from a comma. The preamble of the Constitution is a compund sentence. Yet everyone reads it with a period after "the commonf defence" instead of the comma which there stands, which commands, "to ensure the general welfare and domestic tranquility";none of whic they choose to include in their abridgement of a compound sentence to what they always accuse the media of "Taken out of context". It has repeatedly been taken out of context to deprive other nations of their Human Rights, their Sovereign Rights, and the right to maintain their own heritage and identity.

Comes another wolf in sheep's clothing to you. Do not mistake it for anything else. The USA is a failure. It cannot stand without you. And it should not stand, period, until it accepts the fact that the only thing it has over the rest of the developed nations is more weapons than anyone else. Human Rights? They haven't given a hoot about that in years. All they want is more fodder for theor failed and fallacious capitalist regime.

Prinzessin Hohenzoller

Remembering Clarence Clemons

It was a long time ago, around 1972 or so. I was a student at Rutgers-Livingston, an employee, member of the Student Center Board alumn, so had access to a lot of concerts. There was no MTV so we never knew what people looked like 'til we saw them. On a particular night, there was to be a concert in Records Hall, not the Gym as was usual. But my at the time boyfriend and I decided to go.

As we drove to destination, we came upon a stuck car, with a big man in some distress because he had to be at his job, was concerned Campus Patrol would tow the car, and a bit lost and distressed. My boyfriend and I helped him get his car to the side, and phoned campus patrol. It came out that the "big man" was to be at Records Hall for the concert. Campus Patrol said not to worry about the car; how could they get in to see the concert? So info was exchanged, and the big man went in one door, we went in the front.

I remember signing in, and saying, "I've been really curious to see Clarence C. Lemons. I like Jack Lemon a lot." It drew some giggles, oh, well, that's o.k.

My boyfriend had removed the seats from our VW because it was floor seating; soon the concert commenced. And there was "The Big Man". playing the saxophone! Wow. He could have had much more ego about him at meeting, as some persons would have had. But he didn't. That was what was so great about him. Getting to his job was important, who he was in his job never emerged til they began to play.

Intermission, a brief conversation with the Bandmaster took place, about what we thought and the overall sound. I told him the horns drowned everything out, all except the big man on the sax, who seemed to know just how to weave his sound in and around the music. Mr. S's response was surprise, as usually all he ever heard was "Yeah, man, This is great and that's great and the trumpets really make the band." Being aI  singer most of my life,  I don't like the vocals or other parts of the music being drowned out. And that's what was happening. They weren't "making" the band, they were "overriding" it. It was then that I found out I did a thing I've often done with persons of some note: The "Big Man' on the sax was Clarence Clemons. Another chuckle when I repeated that I had thought his name was Clarence C. Lemons.

Even funnier when the Big man was told that. His response? Yup. "Clarence see lemons when he see blondes. Every time I look in the audience, Clarence see lemons when he see blondes." Nobody could have given a more amusing "You airhead!" response. Isn't that right, Bring Sprucesteen? And I still do like the fruity Jetty Beads.

People cannot be replaced. His way may be imitated, but you've got to feel it. I don't think anyone can even be compared to Clarence Clemons. They'd have to be him, for real.

Sympathies to all to whom his passing was on a personal level. There is not much I can say to take the pain of your loss away. These things are things we never really "get over", we just learn to live with the empty space that is left. In time, hopefully, things will enter your lives and fill to some extent, his absence. There is always a part of us that goes with when we lose someone from our lives, a piece of us that never comes back. Yes, it seems, we a little part of ourselves dies too. The best we can do is remember that the depth of our grief is beyond equal to the depth of our love. But it was a life well lived and well received, and now he is beyond all pain. Our pain will in time diminish, and we too will pass one day beyond the pain this world inflicts. Be at peace, and grateful that you had this man for the time which he was granted to be.

With warmest remebrance,
Prinzessin "Pegi" Hohenzoller

ROCK MY SOUL - "Gato Noire"

GATO NOIRE

Pretty round green lantern lights

Dancing in the starless night

Their rhythm steady, coming near

I wait to see what will appear.

A graceful shadow shape emerges

Carrying an ample burden.

From her mouth she sets it down,

A white kitten edged with brown,

Then slips into the ebon veil

Her emerald lanterns dance again.

She brings to me a second gift

This time it is black as she.

I open wide my door to her

One at a time she carries them

To behind my water bed

Where she feels they will be safe.

Oh, Miss Midnight, if only humans could

Love and care the way you do!

You are beautiful, Belle Gato.

Pegi Regine Hohenzoller

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About Kaylee A.

Sane people get upset when life is stolen from an innocent. Kaylee was 2 years old.

I am surprised the prosecution did not theorize the thing most plausible. Kaylee was bound, her mouth covered with duct tape, and locked in the trunk of her mother's car. It was most like likely that Casey A. was going to claim that Kaylee had accidentally climbed into and been locked into the trunk of the car. Removing the child in her parents' yard would account for the cadaver dags' alerting there. Realizing there were marks, which would not exist on a decayed body, Casey disposed of Kaylee and proceeded to pretend she was safely in the care of a person who in reality does not exist.

The motive is clear and sadly more frequent than realized, though more often between husbands and wives, not children and parents, that they had been displaced in the affection of those most important by the arrival of the child. So it seems to be the case in this matter, so derived from statements made by Casey in the jailhouse tapes, which clearly have Casey feeling more like an outsider, an onlooker, to a relationship between Kaylee and her parents, Kaylee now having displaced her; that Casey felt no longer important nor a part of their lives; an insignificant factor in their lives.

This in itself is not unusual; many parents make the mistake of doting on the grandchild, for whatever their own dysfunction is. Often immediately after childbirth, people dote on "the baby", forgetting the mother and pushing aside other siblings. It can result in anything from depression, resentment, sibling rivalry and obviously murder. And it is a mistake, a serious one, in any case; when the primary persons in one's life turn their affections elsewhere, in the case of someone who is primarily dependent on them for her own well-being, that person's stability and any sense of mattering are dissolved. It plays itself out in multiple ways. In this case, it was murder which Casey believes was not by her own hand, as she did not directly slay the child, but put her in a position so as to cause her death by indirect means.

It is a dangerous game for parents to play but I see it unfolding every day. The more stable persons would not put their child into a position of having her feel the grandchild meant more to them than their own. Do they do it deliberately? I believe so, to punish their own offspring and cause anguish in the "now see what you did and you're responsible for it" retaliation for having a child out of wedlock. This has been seen more often in the light of having a boyfriend or significant other involved rather than one's own parents. But so it is.

It was jealousy and resentment which led to my being abducted, though the elders involved were not guilty of having pushed aside their own in favor of me. She simply wanted to deprive me of the love and advantage my own parents' position held for me, herself having been displaced from Czechoslovakia during WWII. Had she murdered me, she could not have more taken my life than in doing what she did. There were no mitigating factors of improper behavior toward her by her mother, grandfather or grandmother. But the resentment was no less there for reasons existing within her own mind only and that she had lied to so many about so many things, one of those things being that she had given birth to me. She lived in Ulm, I was left in caretaking in a small town of approximately 50 houses. In all the years of her life, her jealousy and rsentment toward me never abated. She would lie to people, call my boyfriends and make up tales, try to turn my "adopted" siblings against me, tried to turn me against them and my "niece". Most recently I learned from one of my "adopted" brothers that she had always made him feel he was insignificant compared to me. This emerged 10 years after her death. I didn't know what I had done to have this at one time close to me "brother", whom I had protected, driven around with his drum kit, gone to all his baseball games, almost all of his gymanstics meets, involved him in community theater with me. I am glad we talked, but between, there was much pain and damage done. I told him she never treated me as she described me to him, but rather that I was incompetent, clumsy, tonedeaf, trying to steal her husband, having an affair with her husband; all products of a deranged mind. In the end, my brother said "You were a really good sister." What could I say, except "I haven't changed. No matter what she said, I am still me. "She" had a habit of driving a wedge between people because she wanted everyone to worship her. I'm sorry she succeeded, but think about reality and what did happen in actuality."

But I do see the damage still, that he expects to be rejected and his accomplishments to be deemed second to me. One day he was going on about a painting I'd done, how wonderful etc., it was. I was taken aback. I do what I do because it is what I do, so praise is not a thing I'm sure how to relate to sometimes. But I said to him, "Without you, there wouldn't be that wall to hang it on." He giggled, said, "I guess, I think." The man can build an entire house and a 24 x 36 space I filled holds more meaning? Somehow, I don't think so. I can only hope I do the right thing, so he doesn't slip into that mental anguish again. He's "my little brother" and I do love him as such. But there are certain lines I won't let anyone cross, and crossing it cost him two years of my friendship. I'm still there to help unless he is doing something mean and dishonest because I know despite having a family, he feels alone and abandoned. But that is the way of this country, a way I never felt in Germany. And that is one reason I so love the people of my Homeland.

And under all the lies, the rubble and the garbage, I am one of them. The first 8 years of my life set my principles, my standards, my sense of justice, respect and social equality. It is unity. It's a concept the "United" States doesn't have. Because there is no "troika" , no "Bund", here, only cut-throat competition. And that doesn't make a country "United". Though I am a very bad typist, it's no mistake when I call them the "Untied" States. Everyone is in it only for themselves, "union" members included. They don't give a hoot for the rest of the country.
On a lighter note, when I first spoke of my early childhood whereabouts, pre-USA, I said I was with the "Bunten Deutschen Republischen Leuten".  Bundesrepublik Deutschland. And the post office here gets pissy when I write it on an envelope. And a similar prejudice lives inside some families. Schade. 

Regine Hohenzoller

Verruecktigkeit es gibt!

Von allen den Wannsinn das ich hoehre, dieses sack voll Scheisses nimmt das ganze:
Wie "Amerikanish" ich bin, das ich sage was ist, und merhrere sollen so tuhn.
Das ist nich eine "Amerikanerin" die spricht, es ist eine echte, Freie Prinzeesin Deutschland die so sagt.

Bis jetzt, verstehen sie nicht das ich wollte niemals hier sein, und wollte niemals hier bleiben, aber bin nur nur als Kaptiv von "U.S. Values". Das meint, sie haben dazu geschaut, das ich niemals genug Geld hatte um zu leben und zu meine Heimat zurueck kann. So darauf muss ich denken, "Wie erschaffe ich das? Jeztz das sie haben mich ganz kaput gemacht, nur kurz von wann ich konnte von hier in '88 weg. Und sie denken das meine Familie oder Deutschland soll bezahlen vuer den Leid das sie selbst hatten mich getahn? Ich habe dem gerade gesagt, das sie nicht im richtigen Gesinn ueberall sind.

Sie machen ihren eigenen Geburge flach weil es Koll dadrinnen gibt. Und dan klagen sie, wann jemand anderes ihre verruecktigkeit entgegnet. Zum Teufel damit. Wann das ganze ding gaz null ist, und mich auch damit, dann kummere ich mich nicht mehr darueber. Aber ich denke nicht das ich kann lange mehr aushalten, weil ich selbst wuerde gerne dagegn tragen. Und sie haben das vom anfang gewusst. Wann sie hatten diese verfalschte Stadtsangehoerigkeit vertrag gemacht, mit den Eltern. Und cih hatte dem gesagt, mwin Vater heisst Nikolaus. Harald auch hat das gesagt, aber von ihm selbst hat er gesagt er wusste nicht den Nahmen seines Vaters. Und noch haben sie diese sache durchgebracht. Ich habe auf der Stelle gesagt und unterschrieben das ich niemals vuer USA Waffen tragen will. Und ich habe es wieder gesagt. Und es steht auf Rekord so. Darum hatte icj einen Gruenen Reisepass stets einen Blauen gehabt. Aber meine Deutsche Papieren habe ich wider, und mein Deutscher Reisepass, die Edith Gango Murphy hatte von mir und Harald gestohlen. Meine echtige Geburtspapieren sind irgendwo, nur die verfalschte habe ich. Und von USA kann ich sie nicht erhalten. Und jetzt probieren sie mein USA Verleztenkasse Geld zu abschneiden.
So lass den Teufel los, weil Gottliche leute sind diese nicht. Und es ist mir egal wer stebt hier oder nicht.
Wann der Herr Gott dieses ganzes Land auseinander mit Wetter un Scuettlung runtertragt, sage ich, ja, doch, es gibt ein Gott, und er weisst wann er soll den Teufel los laufen. Nichts richtiges oder echtes regelt USA----auf eine Zeit, ja. Aber das der Obama nicht ein sprung von Hitler ist, wie er will die ganze Welt regeln, glaube ich nicht.
Und so sehe das ich.
Freiheit unter USA gibts doch nicht. Nur was ich von meinem eigenen selbst angreiffe. Lieber echtig "arm" auf Moergen dan Falsch "Reich" auf diesem Land. Alle haben Geld schulden, sonnst weiter geht das Leben nicht. Und das ist nicht was gutes. Eine grosse verfalschung ist alles das es ist.

(Ich hab Deutschen Embassy e-mail geschriben, was mein Ziel ist. Muss mal schlafen so ich kann zum Notar und die Papieren schicken.)

Prinzessin Hohenzoller  

Obama-speak Translation

Translation of Obama-speak "Nation-building"_To attempt by coerson, indebtedness, guil or fear or force or false representation and prom,ises, other sovereign nations to allow occupation by United States of America and become a territory thereof for the purpose of free access to their resources and logistical location and make it's people USA dependent and and accountable to the USA. "Colonizing."
As it currently is, he acts as though this has already occurred. No  nation is required to answer to the USA. That is what the UN is for.

P.E.G. I.

Hello World!

It is the 14th of June 2011. In 4 days, it will be 52 years since I was abducted and unlawfully detained in the USA. It will be 46 years since they coerced me to sign a document of citizenship, at age 14, not knowing what I was signing, on the promise that if I signed it, I (and my adopted brother Harald) could go home. It was all a pack of lies, including their attempts to coerce me to sign by promising that I would have everything I would have had in Germany if I stayed in the USA. I wasn't going to do it, but then they promised me I could go home if I signed. Since I'm still in the USA, obviously I never got to go home. My 4 attempts ended in one physical assault and 3 incarcerations as a "runaway", when the fact is that I was lied to. They were told repeatedly that these people were not my parents and I had no idea who they thought I was or what gave them any right above my parents, or any right to keep me, or prevent me from going home or anything else that they did. It wouldn't have happened if the male in the matter had given his true address in the US instead of a false, temporary one in Germany; it wouldn't have happened if the abductress hadn't sweet-talked the fiance of the Standesbeamter into approving the documents. It would be today if the US Immigration and Naturalization Authorities had given a damn when I told them these people are not my parents, my Father's name is Nikolaus. I was already well on my way into full blown amnesia; the chosen day also unnerving me because they used the little stress tactic of scheduling this farce in Newark, NJ on the same day as graduation ceremonies were to take place in East Brunswick, NJ. But it doesn't end there.

I am, unfortunately, here, in the USA. They attacked me first, by writ and harassment for the villification of one person's ego. That is typical. It is the same way Barack "Neu-Hitler" Obama is. There were valid questions raised over his citizenship status; what was not determined was although having been born in Hawaii, his heritage is African and he is within the age group which very well could have been spawned by NAZIs in Afrika (you remember, they were there too). Despite the fact that my abductress was of NAZI bent, I had 8 years before her to learn how to spot NAZIs, and to fight their ilk. The USA has descended into that hell. Yeah, "Arbeit Macht Frei", otherwise you are a captive at their mercy for life. A little slave in their capitalist machine. And they can't understand why no one wants to participate in this government, in voting, or why there is a gang and drug epidemic. They're just following the example set by the electorati. If it doesn't agree with you or give you what you want, just remove it from the face of the earth. And help yourself to anybody's money any time you want. Also their property. These gang kids are acting out what they see the government doing. Someone forgot to tell them that they're supposed to tell the government what to do. Why? Because the government doesn't give a damn. They're going to do whatever they want to do whenever any of them feel like doing it. And Mr. neu_Hitler is taking the money from a bankrupt country so he and his wife can go on world tour "while they have the opportunity to do so". Despicable is too good a word for it. As for the "First LadY', she is at best ineffectual. As for having her mother live in the People's House, aka "The White House", how much is her jaded influence causing Obama's actions? There have been insufficient questions about her heritage and background. But the look she is says she's hiding something she shouldn't be knowing.

What I do know is they are a pack of liars who accuse other countries of things which they themselves are guilty of. Now having blown Lybia's Navy out of the water, there is no one to stop them from taking over the Mediterranenan and freely shipping armaments and munitions into Afrika. They have always had access to Italy and other ports. It is my true belief in the self-determination of every sovereign country which leads me to say:If they trespass against your borders, blow them to kingdom come. Period.

There's another thing:Zinc. Despite the fact that many people are allergic to it and they have found deposits of the substance in the lesions of Alzheimer's patients, one cannot buy a vitamin or food supplement or even food and soft drinks now that aren't loaded down with the stuff. Don't think for a minute the government cares to preserve life. They'd just as soon have a person die so they don't have to pay retirement benefits and medical care for them. Yet they scream that they are pro-life because they are ant-abortion. Just they don't give a damn after the kid is born. Just as long as they have another little robot to keep their Capitalist ethic up and running.

Some people do care, and I couldn't love them more. But as for the rest of them, if my Mother wanted to make the same threat she made against a town that sheltered me when I was lost from home, I would not expect my presence here to stop her from caryying it out. If I'm dead, I'm dead. Just I want to bring Harald's ashes back home to Germany and I would rather die where my soul is at peace. It never has been here and there is nothing that will ever make it at peace again with the USA.

And that is the crux of it. I find their actions and their lies and their motives morally unacceptable and blatantly outrageous. It is time for the rest of the world to stop believing their lies. It's easy to believe that no one is lieing when your government is honest. It is easy to believ them when times are hard. I never believed them from the start, from before I ever set foot on this continent. And time has proven me right, over and over again. And time and time again I have fought against their lies, only to be answered by more lies. And their people know it and don't know what to do about them. It is time for the rest of the world to isolate them to within their borders. It is a barren country. They have depleted their minerals, their fuel sources, their gold, they have no gems outside of turquoise. They have a land that is befouled by crowding, concrete, asphalt, cars and pollution, and everybody living on money which doesn't exist. If everyone stopped spending and holding their money to themselves, it will cause an economic collapse. But all are brainwashed into this "upgrading" standard, which depletes the finances, into living on borrowed everything. It is time their attempts to force their failures to be adopted by others to be "called in". Payment due now. The price is "Get out".

I wrote "Freedom, freedom, rescue me." I wrote it to Germany, to France to anybody to rescue me from the USA. That was 25 years ago. What I wrote them still holds true today. In fact, their humanitarianism toward their own people is disappearing completely. It has not improved, it is getting worse. Yet they lie to other nations and pretend that their way, their "US values", are the right direction to go. They are not. And the sad fact is, most US citizens never realize it until after they have retired and see that the promises are not fulfilled, and all the Constitutional Guarantees are another war to be fought. After having earned it for 55+ years. They are scavengers, they are pirates; worse, they are dictators who never change but that it remains the same.

Obama was the hope of the USA. He has become a scoundrel and dictator, abandoning his own Constitutional job requirement:he has abandoned his own people and provoked war against his own country to become imminent and likely, whereas such was not before Bush the case. But one of their political ideals is that if there is a war underway, he American people will retain the incumbent President. I believe if there is a war provoked by that President, he should not be allowed to serve another term. I would not let Obama finish this term in office, Nor Hillary Clinton.

I don't belong in this country, yet they keep telling me I do. But I don't. I have advised them and my Government that any claims of allegiance to this existenceis a figment of someone else's manufacture and was not, is not and never will be of my own free will.

And that is the difference between my shielding my people in Germany and not these here. I was there of my own will and under the care and protection of all of them. Here, I am under assault continually, if not from the public, then from the creditors, and mostly by the government and the television. It is rare that I can find something on TV which does not display a phony "reality" or is financial, religious or news content. I was happier when I never watched the damned thing, happier without all these appliances and technology cluttering my living space. And I am ready to toss it all in the trash, but I'll just hold a yard sale instead.
I can use the funds to put aside so I can escape from this hell finally and forever.

Pegi

Zeit Zu

So, it's not enough that Barack Obama thinks he's the King of the World, now Hillary Clinton thinks she rules Afrika. That's nervy. First they cause insurrection in Lybia and now demands no other Afrikan countries trade with them or else there will be revolts? Who is she to call for any of this. Enough is enough and this is too much.
Too long have "Americans"(United States of, primarily) invaded and trespassed and crossed boundaries with no right to do so. Years ago, there were singns all over the USA that said "Trespassers will be shot". Shalom a Gleichmach.
Close your borders to them. If you find them straying around in your country, arrest them and drop them off, hadcuffed & unharmed, at the nearest US Consulate.
This garbage needs to end. Today. They are doing this for mineral and gemstone mining rights which were recently denied to them by Ethiopa. Afrika has them, and has kept them in good control without damage to the land. Let USA in, and the land will be destroyed, the people thrown away. I know what's what, where and why. No matter how much the Amerikans lie.

Es reicht nicht, das Barack Obama denk das er der Koening der Welt ist, jezt denkt Hillary Clinton das sie die Regine Afrika ist. Welche nerve! Zuerst aufregen sie die Unruhe auf Lybia, dann sagen sie all Afrika, sie duerfen nichts mit Lybia zu tuhen haben? Nichts Wirtschaflichtes wie normal autragen oder kommt ueber ganz Afrika weitere unruhe?
Es is zeit su lange das "Amerikanern" (Unites States, premiere) haben Grenzen uebertreten und mit Waffen andere Lanender als Hostage gehalten. Es gab auf USA erkundigen, "Wer mein land uebertrteted, wird Geschossen". So mach auch gleich.
Grenzne gegen Amerkanern, wichtigsten gegen United States of Amerika, zuschliessen; wanderleiute davon, ueberhaften und zum naehesten Konsulat tragen, ohne leid.
Solche Amerikanische Scheisse soll abhalten. Heute.
Ab sofort-Edelweiss Eins treff USA 1, 2, 3.....ganz null, Retaliata Regize Regine.  

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You People Need to Know

Leaders of Countries must allow the free flow of information to your people. Had you not barred this, they would have been able to read what I write. I am in absolute opposition to the course the USA has been taking. It was stated that "Lybia only has 1% of the oil" so what is the reason?

They are trying to force all countries to adopt Capitalism, whic has nothing to do with Democracy. You can be a Socialist Republic and still be Democratic. I wish my correspondences had reached the people; it may have allayed this violence.

For a fact, the USA has taken actions against the following countries, all Socialist Republics: (Alphabetically)
Afghanistan(Acts of War)
Burma (Trade Embargo)
Cambodia (Acts of War)
Cuba (Total Embargo and Isolation)
Egypt ????propoganda infiltration
Lybia(Acts of War)
N. Korea (Smearing Reputation)
Somalia (Military Aggression)
Syria???(Propogandist infiltration)
Viet Nam (Acts of War)
Yes, I know there are a lot missing from the list.

It is not about Democracy and the people having a voice at all. It is all about these lies of prosperity and self-determination. I know of no developed country which more strongly represses self-determination through and for Capitalist economics means the USA.
That their acts are duplicitous are self-evident. The major auto dealer who went bankrupt went crying to the government for money. But they do not recognize this as a Socialist act. Without the Socialist Policies the USA does grant, the Great Depression after World War Two would be a recurring cycle. Only the Socialist Programs have kept this country from going into a serious economic crash. Yet they lie to you, the rest of the world, just as they  lie to their own and delude themselves.
Release my writings on this blog to the people. It is the truth.
I have nothing to gain from this except the peace of the world, true equality and true social justice. It does not exist in the USA.

Do not let the USA deceive you into thinking they would not fire on their own people if the White House or their military compounds were attacked. Otherwise, why would they have armed protection? If people try to enter Guantanamo by land, they are fired on. Don't let them deceive you. And as Satan in Christendom is likewise called "the Great Deceiver", what does that make this deceptive nation if not what they have been dubbed by Muslims? I know little of that religion, but most religions do hold the same tenets in common-and I truly also believe that one reason they were so quick to crucify Christ Jesus is that he preached Socialist ethics. Also many precepts of the Catholic church were along Socialist principals-Gluttony being a sin because you may be depriving someone of food who is starving. Also so with Greed. Absolutely so with arrogance. The Church lists 7 deadly sins. In the USA, there are 10 Comandments. What books I read, I believe there are 15; with 16 sub-commandments, one of which forbids the torture, torment or abuse of animals. Even so far as pulling a cat's tail to annoy it or provoking a dog to barking, or beating horses, or abusing and mistreating any animal or "beast". My home church ptaught this, preached this, printed it. But no US person I spoke to ever heard a word of it before I told them of it. And a lot of them abuse their animals. The good people cannot keep up with the amount of resuing which needs to be done.

And I am so proud of Australia for refusing to send cattle to Indonesia. If they cannot respect the thing that gives them life, they will have to, as God said, "scrape the ground" for it. Bravo, Australia.

And this great big cocaine trade coming from Colombia, who is using it? US citizens. Because they hate what this country is, they hate their lives; but they don't care anymore when they are high. All they care about then is getting high again so they do not have to live in a reality which severely has needed reformation. Sure, they freed some black people from slavery. But they have found other ways to keep people enslaved all their lives. Granted, no one can claim "ownership" of a person, but they say their company or their job or the bank "owns" them...Being high makes it all go away. So to those of you supplying the USA with cocaine, etc.-you are helping perpetuate the thing you want to negate.

Don't be blinded by the facade they present. If there is true freedom here, it is reserved for a very few.

I know the difference. I have lived in freedom. And the USA is not free, nor have I been since I set foot on this land in June of 1959. If I were truly free, I could have gone home to my homeland, couldn't I? The one time I was able to do so, my Aunt was in the Eastern zone in Germany. The Government paid her train fare so she could come see me. That is freedom, not this, where I can't even get the Government to provide on a one time basis transportation to a needed medical consultation.
They have a new slogan (yeah, they love those catch-all don't bother me with facts statements). I see it on bumper stickers and posters and it maddens me: It says "Freedom isn't free." Then it isn't freedom as guaranteed by the US Declaration of Independence from England or it's Constitution. By those documents, freedom is free. But their guarantees are as worthless as their words and the false promises they make.

Anything I said in support of Barack Obama, I fully retract. He is an egotistical tyrant who doesn't give a damn about the people. Running around having fun in Europe in the midst of a major disaster hitting his country. Regardless of how I feel towards my self-proclaimed "parents", if there was a crisis or emergency, my Dad took off from work and came. He is into this NAZI "Arbeit Macht Frei" thing. But it doesn't free most people, just other routes of monetary enslavement present themselves.
Were it otherwise, I would not be in the USA.
Prinzessin Pegi Hohenzoller

This Thing I Do

It has been long since I entered a church building; the last time was for a funeral of a member of my extended family near Christmas two years ago. For many years I felt there was peace between God and me. Televangelists for the most part leave me cold; they so misinterperet "the Word"; one who had of himself made sense and was able to relate it to today for some reason felt he needed a "circus trick" of someone babbling nonsensically, pretending to have been given the gift of tongues. I e-mailed and told him how low that had taken him down. I tuned in only once more; he was saying a public Act of Contrition for a thing he did not name, but was saddened that he "fell"(from grace).. It was sad, but we all are subject to fall to evil. It disguises itself and comes when we are the most vulnerable. Being human, that is what we are. Fallible.

This thing I do more often now than ever is to tune in to Holy Mass broadcast from the Vatican. I know Pope Benedict is on 'Facebook', and though I am a fan of his, Facebook is not one of my stations.

More often than not, the context of the mass touches on something in my mind; sometimes more directly than  others, but at the very least, it gives me an hour away from the chaos that my life has been turned into, an hour to meditate and contemplate. An hour of peace. After much lost sleep and troublesome pain, one night when I turned on the Celebration of the Holy Mass, I slept through it, in the contentedness of knowing that God was watching over me, I was comforted. I invited the Holy Ghost to come into me and take over for a while. It was the deepest, most peaceful sleep I'd had in weeks.

I am a firm believer in Divine Guidance and Divine Inspiration. I believe the things I am given to know, as I have often been told "But how did you know because I never told you about that." that it is the Holy Ghost imparting this knowledge to me. Likewise my writing, my artwork, my creations, the way I know how to heal-they are not matters of my conscious mind, but of a higher power which the "ego"part of my Freud defined psyche is astonished by. Yet there it is, and somehow wrought by my mind or by my hands. There is a higher power which flows through me. Lately, not as much as previously, perhaps because I was not open to it. I need to have that with me every moment of every day. It is the difference between my joy and my peace versus my sorrow and conflict. Sorrow does come with it at times because the truth is not always a matter of joy but a necessity to living. I often have to remind myself that most peole don't have this gift and truly are oblivious to anyone but their own self. While it would be easy to say that they are just plain self-centered, that is not the fact. I can "see" that they can't "see". It is not always easy. Especially when they demand to know how I know. I used to say "I don't know how I know. I just know." Now I do know- it is the Holy Ghost who gives this to me. From some things I am mercifully shielded. I used to think it was a requirement for becoming a "detective", but unfortunately, it isn't. And unfortunately, not a pre-requisite for an elected politician. Perhaps they do not seek it; perhaps it is reserved for Kings and Queens; perhaps it is their refusal to accept that this does exist in their attempts to discredit royal rule and successions.They just don't have it. Looking for it, in it's absence, it is a feeling that there is only empty flesh is the best I can explain it; a "blankness" which is disheartening. Were it otherwise, they would not do as they do. They would know what to preserve and what to destroy. It is in what they destroy that this absence is most evident.

That much of what I do is from Divine Guidance is more apparent at this time when I have not picked up a brush to do a painting or anything else really artistic in nearly four years. Though at times, an entire volume of poetry would spring from me, without re- writes, I've written perhaps five poems in nearly four years and they were cumbersome, not the flashes of inspirations which define most of my writings. I  look at what my hands have wrought, not thinking myself capable of that, yet it was done by me. I see some certain things others have achieved; things thought "not humanly possible"......I have no doubt they had Divine Help, among other assistance. I have said that the knowledge came from God. Undergoing medical procedures I have prayed for God to guide the surgeon's hands. It has not failed. God is in the spirit form; it is us who must be open to be his instruments for good and manifest his will and work. It is man forcing man's will on everything in creation which disrupts the Universe. I know how much it has destroyed me, taking me away from where God chose for me. I am not in the USA by his will. That is not where he put me.

No, the Holy Ghost has not left me, just redirected me. The time has been split between healing my stepfather who was near to death at least twice if not more, keeping him from facing amputation of his feet and trying to end these infernal military actions and stop bankrupting the country and take care of this Earth, it's creatures, and the people of their own country. Additionally, an evil entered and it was nearly impossible to cast it out; it lurks, always, waiting to pounce.

And I did a terrible thing: I tried to make a bargain with God, who had asked for nothing, but that which was forfeit will never be restored until resurrection comes. It has left a hole in my life which might never be filled.
And I regret it more than anything I have ever done in my life. I gave up all that had given me the joy of my days, and it was too high a price to pay. But evil sneaks in whenever there is an opening.

So tonight, I realize, however temporary my abode may be, I have to turn it back to me. As it now is, the furniture is not properly placed, the closets not sensibly organised, paperwork and financial problems are everywhere. My mind has lately seen only black and white; my usual keeping of my abode is non- existent and all these things overpower what beauty and ability was bestowed on me.

The reasons for this are multiple, but reasons don't change the problem. I was agonizing over whether or not to expend the energy to put it my way, not knowing how temporary "here" will be and found myself in procrastinator's hell. So today I have concluded that if I do not change the result of what the various evils have caused, despite having banished them directly, they indirectly still prevail. I cannot allow this any longer because they are destroying my soul and draining the life out of me.

So for myself, I pray, Give me strength; and for my enemies, make them speak the truth and enlighten the ignorant and make them stop destroying everything that exists and stop them from financially bleeding us dry. And for myself again, when the time is right, the return to my homeland and my family, to where it was God's will, not man's, for me to be, yet not abandon the precious lives he entrusted to me.
Amen.

+ + +
Regine Pegi
(Reign Peace)

About Bean Sprouts

In the USA about 35 years ago, there was E. coli connected with bean sprouts. Further investigation showed that it was not the bean sprouts, but that they had been stored and packaged with contaminated water in little sealed plastic bags.

Auf USA gab es mindestens 35 Jahren vorher, E. coli ausbruch das sie hatten  Bohnen Spruenglen blamiert. Weitere untersuchung erfolgt das es gab E. coli im Wasser wodrinnen die Bohnene Spruenglen in zugesperrte palstich Beuteln sind gewesen.

Pegi

Prinz Phillip: Congratulations on your 90th Birthday. Many Happy Returns of the Day!

Regine Pegi 

Queen's Day New Zealand 2011

They celebrate my birthday today, though to the best of my recollection, it isn't.

Why they chose this, I can speculate only.

Perhaps to assist in falsifying my identity. Perhaps the name matched someone else born on this day. Perhaps they never knew when my birthday is, so chose a central date and hoped it would balance. Perhaps to discredit the fortune tellers. Perhaps because I got the 3 and 6 mixed up when I wrote what I thought my real birthday was. Too many vairaibles.

Even with the proficiency of German record keeping, it is useless without access. It is useles when one lives in the USA wherein the only history which exists is theirs, and their point of view of it. Despite the well-known family name which is mine by right of birth, there has been nothing in the USA  for years to say we ever even existed. Except the other day, when a friend returned from Europe and said he had visited the Habsburg Palace and something about Hohenzollern lived there too. OK. At least we exist someplace and I am happy my friend chose to inquire of it. Someplace for me to start other than Baden Wurttemberg, where I have not been able to connect. Not where we were when I got lost from my parents anyway. We were in their summer home somewhere in the Alps. I know where I got lost to, I never knew where I got lost from, but my Papi felt my name and his were enough to get me home. So obviously, they were of some importance, my real parents.

Supposedly, I am 60 years old today.

But I am treated like I am 12 years old and expected to take on the duties of two houses, mostly the financial ones. That is where the problem is primary. The man I refer to as my "Dad", who has serious brain damage from chronic alcoholism, still fails to look ahead, fails to see past the immediate, and mostly, fails to see the reality of me. He thinks he's putting one over on me, but that is anout to end. His snake-in-the-grass ways wuill come to an end. He minds nothing ofpaying major money to a stranger to take care of him, but me, he wanted it for free. And that was not about to happen. And the protection of his life and finances I have given to him these past 10 years will also end if he refuses to take my advice and instead of running up more debt, refuses to cash in ready assets. I know he is doing this to spite me. He could never stand that I was right and he wasn't. He amuses himself in his fantasy that I will not be able to go home to Germany after his death because he intends to leave me broke and pennyless. That being the case, I will not have time or energy to tend to his needs.

These past 10 years of preventing his death have sucked what was left of my life out of me. Why didn't I just let him die? Truly, I do not know why. It was not a merciless thing. He was not in physical pain. I do not believe in torture for the sake of sustaining life. I had no choice in letting my brother Harry go to his peace. It destroyed me. The only solace I found was that for him, the suffering was ended. For me, it was only truly beginning. The abductress was in so much pain she couldn't draw a breath without crying. Her ribcage collapsed and then there was no way for her to breathe or eat. She had wanted to die for theprevious year, at which time the doctors told me that necrosis had begun to set in; the bone was not renewing itself. That is osteoporosis. Her years of alcoholism and combining opiods with alcohol only hastened the matter. She consumed zero calcium, didn't go out in the sun. It was a mercy for her to go. But his near-deaths were mostly due to his own stupid pig headedness. Except the first one. He had neglected his physical due to the non-stop whining and demands of the abductress and 6 months after her death underwnt a quadruple cardiac bypass surgery. For some reason, he expected my 5'4" and 135# self was supposed to help his 6' and 22# self  recuperate at home on my own, refusing to let my boyfriend come with. He rehabbed in the hsopital facilities. He wanted to be home so he could get drunk some more.

After several trips to the emergency room for his alcohol overdoses, foot infections from diabtetes, asthmatic complications, he almost bit the dust 3 times in four years with multiple interim hospital trips for short term treatments. Those shennanigans stopped when I started getting "Into Prinzessin mode". That means I take no b.s. from anyone, doctors and health care people and financial parasites equally. It has kept him out of any and all emergency visits for 21 months now. But he is sliding back into laziness because his current home care is lazy. So things are goin to change.

He has always felt he should be waited on as he was by his wife, and none of the homefront matters are his to do. He simply does not do them when left on his own. It is a brain defect, I understand, and with the holes in his grey matter and  his strokes, it is difficult to know the difference of what he cannot or just will not do. But he will clean up the mess he caused. I will not let him die until it is cleaned up, from the negligence to his home to the ridiculous financial decisions he has made. The ultimatum will be that he do as he should and reflect the correct proportions in his will, being that he has 4 grandchildren and not one, all of who have parents and the one he names having parents and three sets of grands, and myself, having no one on this earth. He will pay of his bills with what was intended for that one grandchild who now has a husband of her own, awaiting her third child, a husband, and an extremely well paying job as a teacher which the abductress and my Dad mostly paid for. He only paid for part of the Grandson's education, and at that, only one.  And he will correct his errors or he will continue the remainder of his life with those errors but without my help.

There comes a time when I have to think of myself. I am in the wrong country not of my own choosing. I am disabled. There has been no one here whom I could even pretend enough to love to keep a relationship since they took all the men for soldiers when I was of a marrying mind. There are no good choices of men, and in 4 years I have not had the energy to seek out anyone. And it nearly landed me in hospital at the beginning of the year. I have had to let things be as they are. And I will have to start typing the book I began writing after my abductress died. It was too traumatic to recall what I was stolen from, so had to bandon that. I'm thinking of calling it "16 HOURS TO HELL" because that is how long the airplane took to carry me from Germany to the USA in 1959. And I need to contact publishers. ROCK MY SOUL  was an e-book 12 years ago. Always ahead of my time and ahead of the thinking of most of this nation. They never catch up to where my mind is; they always lag behind. My "Dad" is no exception. He could not foresee living; only dieing. 10 years ago he wanted to discuss his death. I wanted to discuss his life. Now the time has come when his death must be discussed. If he chooses to continue as is, he will fade away within a year. But it isn't what he implies he chooses. He simply chooses not to do anything himself about it, but expects everyone else to do it for him. He is much like a large baby who unfortunately still has say over matters of importance. No doubt if I answered the letter that came for people in major debt they would advise him as I would. Maybe contacting them will be the ticket to cleaning up that mess and putting available funds where they belong-paying off his debts.

So after another sleepless night brought on by things which should not be my burden in the first place, I am going to smoke, and they can go back to where they came from- that is, hell, - and this time, stay there. I have more important things to deal with than whether or not I choose to light a cigarette.

And no doubt Barack Obama feels the same way.

Pegi